1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Dh Wants To Gift Relatives Friends

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Vedhavalli, Jun 13, 2018.

  1. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    466
    Likes Received:
    594
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi all,
    My DH and myself have difference of opinion on gifting friends and relatives.
    If someone gifts me say about 1000 RS, I will return similar amount gift or little more than that, definitely not less than what they did.
    This goes for all occasions.
    Sometimes we gift very expensive gifts like gold for close family and cousins, aunts , uncles.
    DH has rendered help financially to his sister, uncle, aunty and cousins. I have never said no. But now we have Decided to help based on medical condition only.
    Not showering gifts to extended family on every trip.

    Now comes the headache, one of DH cousin had a baby recently. DH wants to send expensive and heavy (in terms of kg) gifts like stroller or high chair, baby swing and other baby items from US. The shipping cost is so high. I told him we will send dress and other few things. Less than 150$. DH is not agreeing , on anger I said his cousin gifted only one dress for my child , why should we spend so much and also shipping to India.
    His cousin'smom aunty wants to show off. She is pestering dh.

    It's been the usual my DH always wants to gift costlier than what they did. I totally don't agree for expensive gifts unless the person is nice and appreciates your gift doesn't expect , much. DH doesn't understand says, People will be like that I'm good person I will go with good gifts.
    Venting.
     
    GeetaKashyap likes this.
    Loading...

  2. ILUser07

    ILUser07 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    237
    Likes Received:
    140
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Arguing or telling how much they gave for you only will make him more adamant in my opinion. All the items you mentioned stroller/high chair/any other baby items are available in India. Don't deny on the gifting amount. Instead make him understand that simply paying hefty amount for shipping will be a waste of money. And you can't use warranty or return if they are damaged in transit. Even a small damage can result in serious safety flaws in such baby products and you don't want to regret if anything happens.
    This might convince him. Send them a 10k gift card to buy as per their wish($150)
     
  3. poovai

    poovai Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,419
    Likes Received:
    2,027
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    I agree with @ILUser07, just let it go.

    When ever it comes to my DH side of their family, my reaction. It works better, save the energy.


    upload_2018-6-13_14-27-35.jpeg
     
  4. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    1,318
    Likes Received:
    2,254
    Trophy Points:
    300
    Gender:
    Female
    poovai likes this.
  5. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    1,318
    Likes Received:
    2,254
    Trophy Points:
    300
    Gender:
    Female
    This is normal and totally fine.

    Yes as @ILUser07 suggested it might get damaged during transit . You can tell one of your friends did this and was shocked to see the product at the destination was damaged . Nowadays you get everything in India. Instead gift something from Amazon.in . You can change the country in settings to India and you can provide your Indian bank details to avoid huge shipping cost .

    Some are like tat can’t help.
     
  6. star90new

    star90new Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    176
    Likes Received:
    44
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    I face similar problems with my husband too, in my case even I am confused how much to gift..
    We dont have a kid yet.. and we keep on gifting friends and relatives , sometimes we find ourselves gifting too much.
     
    GeetaKashyap and Vedhavalli like this.
  7. mimi77

    mimi77 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    310
    Likes Received:
    320
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Your husband should listen to you and not to his cousins mom who wants to show off.... You are the wiser one. ...he should do as you say
     
    shravs3 and Vedhavalli like this.
  8. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    466
    Likes Received:
    594
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    Finally I convinced him to send gift amount as INR 10k... But still find its too much.
    When DH cousin gifted only INR 500 to my child.
    It's not that he isn't rich/poor. But expecting expensive gifts from relatives who are in overseas makes me feel sad. Why should I spend so much for people who text Diwali/new year wishes on WhatsApp /fb.
    Even for housewarming of relatives my in-laws will ask us to gift separately.
    Thanks for all your replies/ suggestions.
     
    sindmani, sumalynux and shravs3 like this.
  9. cinderella06

    cinderella06 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,188
    Likes Received:
    491
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Gender:
    Female
    IMO instead of giving a relative who does not bother about us I will give the money or gift a poor relative ,friends or someone we doesn’t t know. They will know the real value of the money.
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2018
    shravs3 and Lalithambigai like this.
  10. Sweety82

    Sweety82 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    492
    Likes Received:
    521
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    U can send gift items like stroller (shipping cost included or shipping free). My sister sent me stroller for my baby like this.
     

Share This Page