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***DH vs exBF***

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Madhulatha87, Nov 18, 2014.

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  1. Nov 18, 2014 #1
    Madhulatha87

    Madhulatha87 Bronze IL'ite

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    hello IL's

    i got married recently 6months ago..and having no issues. I recently got a call from my ex who invited for his wedding. I yelled at him like moron then it leads us to an argument.

    With that conversation i came to know that he is agood guy.The reason for my breakup with him is my friend who is also my roommate. She said he had tried a move on her like tried to hug here when i was not there in my room, then i got irritatated and without asking any question to him i avoided him n later got married.

    He also never tried to talk to me. Later he invited me for his wedding which leads us to get an argument.

    I came to know he is innocent and my friend is the culprit who broke us up with her lies. I was completely lost,cried, went through a deep sorrow. I was such an idiot who believes her words without any confirmation.

    i am so regretting for his absense in my life. I dont know how to recollect my mistake. i dont know what should i need to do now?

    All of sudden my heart is saying dont miss him n the same one saying dont ruin u r married life with weird step.

    Dh n ex both r really good guys..dont know what to do now..

    when i called the culprit, she still says he made a move on her but he was not.

    can anyone free up my confusion?
     
    Madhulatha87, Nov 18, 2014
    Madhulatha87, Nov 18, 2014
    #1
  2. Nov 18, 2014 #2
    puni88

    puni88 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    You are married right? just forget about your EX, move on with your husband and have good life. There is no need for any clarification from your friend or EX. Let him get married and have peaceful life. Also, don't spoil your relationship with your husband.
    All the best!
     
    puni88, Nov 18, 2014
    puni88, Nov 18, 2014
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  3. Nov 18, 2014 #3
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    You have no issues, and need an issue. So when the ex called, you made that your issue. The answer is there in your post itself - the highlighted words describe you quite well.

    DH and ex are really good guys. Great. The world is full of really good guys. But you married one good guy. Be good to him for God sakes.

    Culprit is not your ex roommate. Culprit is your constantly wandering mind.

    Pray that your ex and your roommate do not get in touch with your husband.
     
    Rihana, Nov 18, 2014
    Rihana, Nov 18, 2014
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  4. Nov 18, 2014 #4
    Madhulatha87

    Madhulatha87 Bronze IL'ite

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    somewhere in my heart..i had a guity that i had dumped my ex & i am the reason for his sorrow

    i knew it is stupid but i told him to cancel his wedding but i have not gotten any response.
     
    Madhulatha87, Nov 18, 2014
    Madhulatha87, Nov 18, 2014
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  5. Nov 18, 2014 #5
    Madhulatha87

    Madhulatha87 Bronze IL'ite

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    thanks puni... but i broke his heart right? i want to recollect my mistake.. it is strange but i m still having feelings for my ex..
     
    Madhulatha87, Nov 18, 2014
    Madhulatha87, Nov 18, 2014
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  6. Nov 18, 2014 #6
    puni88

    puni88 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I think you are in a verge of spoiling your beautiful life....
    Stop thinking about your EX. Its past. If you feel guilty, say sorry and move on.
    He is also getting married and he is not stuck in your love. So everything is working fine for him too.
     
    puni88, Nov 18, 2014
    puni88, Nov 18, 2014
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  7. Nov 18, 2014 #7
    JustMyself

    JustMyself Gold IL'ite

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    You are happily married. Why would you want to disrupt another's happiness by asking him to cancel his wedding?

    If you have had enough trust in him earlier, you would not have believed your room-mate. So, in the back of your mind, you had not trusted him completely. Nobody can say what happened really, as it would always be "he said" or "she said". It is better to close this chapter and let everyone move on with their lives.

    You took a decision and you moved away, chose your path in life and married well.
    Let him have his life and move on with his life. Given your state of mind, it is better to avoid the invitation or any further conversations with him or about him.

    Good luck with your marriage !
     
    JustMyself, Nov 18, 2014
    JustMyself, Nov 18, 2014
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  8. Nov 18, 2014 #8
    1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    Whether you realize it or not, you are actively looking for drama and trouble.

    Point no 1: your ex did NOT contact you to rekindle your past relationship nor to ask you to get back with him.

    Point no 2: He contacted you to invite to HIS wedding. Which means he has also moved on and accepted your decision and your marriage.

    So. There is nothing out there. Stop trying to fan the flame. There are only dead coals.

    Point no 3: No response from him when you told him to call off HIS wedding. Answer read point no 1 and point no 2 till you understand completely.

    And, If you are feeling soooooo bad you broke his heart, then simply explain the misunderstanding to him and sincerely apologize. Dont contact him and dont go to his wedding.
     
    1Sandhya, Nov 18, 2014
    1Sandhya, Nov 18, 2014
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  9. Nov 18, 2014 #9
    pantu

    pantu Gold IL'ite

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    Think about your present and future . Forget the past. Your hubby is good that is a good thing. Don't ruin your life and your ex bfs life.
     
    pantu, Nov 18, 2014
    pantu, Nov 18, 2014
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  10. Nov 18, 2014 #10
    peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    Really? You asked him to cancel his wedding because you felt guilty about dumping him...? And what were you planning once he cancels his wedding? To dump your husband and go back to the EX?

    If your ex was in sorrow about having been dumped by you then, I am sure he is sighing a huge sigh of relief now that he did not get together with you! And he is absolutely right in not responding to you... he's probably thinking "what the...."

    You ex has moved on... and so should you! Did you really expect that he will remain unmarried and living with your memories? Grrrrr... I am not sure now if this is even a genuine thread!
     
    peartree, Nov 18, 2014
    peartree, Nov 18, 2014
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