DH is influenced a lot by Inlaws and I am suffering!

Dear Friends,
I have posted my problems in sevral threads before and have felt greatly relieved with all your replies.
me and DHa long with our toddler live separately in a plac about 1.5 hrs far from my DHs place. This is because we prefer to live close to our work place. He is very particular to go there every friday evening and come back by Sunday late night.
after going to my DHs place I am the perfect DIL doing all household jobs serving food cleaning etc. I have a maid but even then i will be fully occupied.
Weekdays both of us are under terrible owrkpressure, he will come back late and even after that he will connect remotely and work.
I am in software field in a managerial post you need not say about all my work pressure. The maid does all the cooking but she is so poor in it that i wil have to do a part of taht alos..at lease the cutting and all she will do and i will do the cooking. plus, I find time to bake some thing for my son at least once a week as he loves variety food.
yesterday i came late by 8:00 PM and was dead tired
he asked me to change my dress and come for a walk... I just couldnt do it as i was so tired. anotehr things is last week I told him we will start early from home town and just roam around in the city to do some shopping and all ( he never gota nything for my b day and our anniversary.. so I thot of this chance) He was very adamanta nd he said I will leave home only after 6:00 PM we can use the weekdays for all these...
we don ot evn talk to each otehr properly on weekdays!! at times he will be in unnecessary long calls with his fornds who are not even calls
and he expectes me to call his parents and one aunt every day which i am doing daily!

i was soo irritated.. after going home(native) he will lavishly sleep till 9:00 AM and i have to get up before 6:30 else my MILS face will spoil my wekeend. also she just wants me to do some thing in kitchen always and always tries to giveme old/leftover food. Once i told this to hubby and thn he said you should not take it and all after all he is a moms baby he wont speak anythig against her.When ever i teell him about work pressure he sayd I also have the same why are you complaining.. When i say taht Im tired he says i also get tired but he doesnt care atht I am a mom and a working woman. I tried all ways to tell him but in vain
These days i feel so insecure and is sleepless at night. he never encourages me for anything always find fault saying Im fat ( i coudnt lose by post delivery weightof 10 Kg) i do so much of paintings and all but he will at least jokingly give negative comments and no positive comments. he always likes to irritae me and do not recognize me at all... I really wanted to tak a break and go for a trip but i keep on saying and he will not agree...
He wont sent me alone to my home where at least I can relax or let me spend a weekend in the apartment here...
i used to pamper and surprise him a lot inspite of all these bahaviour but now mind had gone numb.
i was a very independant gal who was tehr ein the US for some time alone - now im more like a slave and under control. And DH do not want to have some time private for us together, he even told me taht he wants to travel daily from him home which will be very difficlta nd tiring for me. since we are staying here he is behaving as if he is doing some great favour to me. last day he said while going to home town on friday Me and kid should come in public transport to his office from where he can take me to go to home town. also after going ther eonly we will have dib=nner and even my my kid is crying he isists taht I come only after closing the kitchen even is maid and MIL is tehre!!!
He never understands I am getting tired. and anytim his mom and he are alone I think she injcts him saying a lot of things like as tehre is no one at home FIL is feeling so dull and this and taht...
He is a very good son I know ( and he should be.. it is parents after all) but why is he taking everything for granted and very rough and rude towards my needs. involving in painting or stiching will helpme relax but he wont do any support for all these.
Friday evening h will some how find time to buy non veg a nd all to his home but weekly shopping for non veg for the apartment use will ahppen with so much pleading from me. as if he is doinga big favour. In the initial days of marriage he usedto tell me our life should nt be like his parents.. last day I peacefully told him knowingkly or unknowingly our situation is anotehr version of his parents life... I cried a lota nd then he held me closeby... now his dad is admited in hosp for some routine check ups and his behaviour will change again. MIL will create a big funda out of it and he will be blackmailed by saying some things like she is worried about his health and all.
At the same time my SIL is enjoying life like anything.... she always likes she likes her life after marriage and some how she wanted to get married and all.. my house was a real heaven and I miss tehm all terribly and they too are sad seeing my plight!
Sorry for the long post.. tehre is again lot to say but Im stopping here!!
Please tell me some ways to overcome my dear experianced sisters moms and aunts!

Tulip2012

 

tulipzzz.. really my eyes got filled reading your reply!

yes though difficult I am trying to get my self emotionally detached from him
I started rt from yesterday night. He came late and played a lot with DS and never talk ed word o me. normally I sleep in between both of thembut today DS was i between and I did not botehr to sleep near DH. Morning I and DS got up and went way and normally I will pamper DS and wake him up.
today i did not do that
Wen he came I was giving Breafast to DS i asked maid to heat his tea and i just gave it to him and continued my own works
I did a pinting last night I kept it in shelf where he could see but did not ask him how is it or anything... i wore a good salwar dressed up nicely and just told him bye and came back. didnt even bother to touch him
he did not go to offc.. doing WAH i think
I am not going to call... and regarding the not going homething.. his dad got admitted in hosp so this week I cant say no to the trip.. see it is tehse situations which puts me in trouble.. they will make stories telling she dint even botehr to come when dad was not well and all.. so I am thining to go this week and may be refrain from next week...

hmm redging emails.. Ive sent many which he never replies...
tahnk you for being with me ... hugs to you tooo

 

falguni dear.....
yes I will do taht but Im sure he will behave like a rock only
as if he is not botehred.. Im afraid if it will lead to greater problems tooo if I start being very independant.. he will act as if let things work taht way
Any ways I wont show any affection tahts for sure

I have soem personla plans and will concentrate more on that an will ignore him