Depressed!! Please Help! Help!

Dishaa · Aug 11, 2017

Dear Op,

Please don't quit your job & try to get confirmed or permanent job with better working conditions for you to work.

Don't disclose your salary details or shell out all your salary (including your husband, your in laws, your parents) I am feeling dicey about your husband not getting any job (where as you managed to get) save some money for yourself.

As suggested by other members let ur Dh stay with your SIL & her In laws as said by Ashneys " No in laws are gonna sit n watch others eat at 'their son's' home" let time do all the work for you.

You stay at any low cost hostel.

Best wishes....

YoGirl · Aug 11, 2017

Op
1..Is ur salary enough to cover accomodation expenses now?
2.. why are ur H expenses going over budget? Is it for meaningful purpose like job hunt?
3.. does ur sister in law's inlaws stay with her in that house? If so, how many ppl in total stay in that house? Usually mils dont suggest son to stay with sil inlaws... here ur mil is suggesting. There must b some strong reason. Either they are close relatives or ur financial situation is bad.
4.. what r the chances of ur H getting a job after completing his studies?
5.. many a times when H doesnt have job or studying abroad, they dont take family cuz its extra expenses. But ur H took you which is a good thing. Any reason why he did that?
6.. what is ur parents take on whole situation? Did they financially help u when needed or is it ur H and his family supporting u financially till now or ur H's savings?

salad · Aug 11, 2017

Dear OP hugs and prayers to you,

You are a strong person. Out of all odds you found a job and you are taking care of the expense of your husband, even though he is not loving and caring towards you!.

You are very clear on what you want, please stick to it. If they are keep on forcing you move in with your female friend but make sure you will not send any penny to your husband or in-laws.

Definitely moving to sis in laws place is not a good idea!
Tell your husband to find a job in your city.
Whatever expense they claim, please start saving for yourself! The way you explained your future doesn't look good. So you have to save money for yourself and be financial independent.

Meena2017 · Aug 12, 2017

YoGirl said: ↑

Op
1..Is ur salary enough to cover accomodation expenses now?
2.. why are ur H expenses going over budget? Is it for meaningful purpose like job hunt?
3.. does ur sister in law's inlaws stay with her in that house? If so, how many ppl in total stay in that house? Usually mils dont suggest son to stay with sil inlaws... here ur mil is suggesting. There must b some strong reason. Either they are close relatives or ur financial situation is bad.
4.. what r the chances of ur H getting a job after completing his studies?
5.. many a times when H doesnt have job or studying abroad, they dont take family cuz its extra expenses. But ur H took you which is a good thing. Any reason why he did that?
6.. what is ur parents take on whole situation? Did they financially help u when needed or is it ur H and his family supporting u financially till now or ur H's savings?
Click to expand...

YoGirl said: ↑

Op

Dear yogirl

1)yes i can afford my own expenses.
2)my husband expenses going over budget for job hunting and social networking events and few of then are his hobbies like swimming,fencing etc.
3)my sis inlaw stay with her inlaws but there are two portion of 1 house...she cook differently from her mil.she is living with her husband,her son (4 years old) and in other portion of same house her mil,fil,bil,sil lives.now a days my mil living with my sis inlaw so that her daughter can study further and do her baby sitting and households.the husband of sil is remote control. he dont have his own point of view,,,,basically kind.mil suggesting my husband to stay with her inlaws because she is there for about 2 and half months more and thinking of taking her son back to india with her so as my sil household dont increases.Now a days my mil do her households and baby sitting.
4)the chances of getting job should be good because he is doing masters from very good university.
5) Yes he take me with him,,,,i appriciate that.he want me to do job and cover household expenses.which i tried my best and that is different thing my husband expenses go out of budget.
6)My parents will never support me.they ask me to obey my inlaws which i can't...basically my parents are affraid if i get seprated from my husband then i will be burdon on them.they helped me very little in past.other side my husband saving was good enough for his masters fees.the only expenses over was our living and food.My husband family never ever support me ,their only drawback is that they have only son after two time abotion of my mil.soo my husband is a kind of weekness for them.even if they dont want to spend money but they had to send it just for sake of their son and meantime they were strongly expecting why my salary does not cover expenses.

This is all my story ....pls help..my mind is not in working mode now....thanks
Click to expand...

Deborah · Aug 12, 2017

Your MIL and SIL want you over there to do baby sitting and household work.You will have to do a job plus all that.If the current apartment's lease is in your name,stay there and keep working.You can get your name added to the lease too.Can you get the company you are working for to change the visa status? I get an idea that you are not in US ,so have no idea about the laws there.But things will dramatically change if you have a job on the work visa.
Tell your husband that chances of finding a job are better in the same city as the university he is studying in.What kind of person he is ,doesnt have money ,and asking parents to send money for activies like fencing !? strange !!
You can also say that if you keep this current job,you might be up for a promotion which will be good financially.

The last thing (if nothing else works) you can do is stay back ,keep the job,let him go.Most probably he will be back.