Dealing with controlling mother

for the sake of your family(ie you, your husband and kids) its best you stay apart from your parents. You have a gem of a husband whos so adjusting and you as his partner should do your part too. yes we have to be there for parents/family, but once you got married, you have a commitment to your spouse. So stick to your decision and believe in yourself that its the right one.
If the roles were reversed, no doubt everybody would expect the husband to move out to support his wife to whom he has a responsibility, right?

maybe after a while, your mother would come around and understand the boundaries. its a tough one, but i am sure you can manage.

 

Yes, you have to convince your mom and move out before the differences turns ugly.

Initialy she may feel bad and even stop talking to you, but she is used to your kids and cannot be away from them for long,.

As decided u can take a house in the next street or a few streets away and u can visit them regularly may be even daily while your DH can enjoy his independence.

 

SKK,

Let us say, you are in your hubby's position.. Have a very dominating MIL with a ignore-the-tantrums FIL..

What would you expect from your hubby if EVERYDAY LIFE BECOMES HELL for you ?? Regardless of wether you tell him or not, wouldnt you expect him to be " understanding " ??

Now, think, are you being understanding ??

We sometimes see women moving out of their Inlaws' because life becomes difficult for both the ladies' to live under one roof.. Whose at fault is secondary.. Peace and maintaining relationship is first.. Do we blame those ladies ? No. Why ? Simply because " their situation demands
it " .. Do we say, you have seperated the son and mommy and the mommy is going to cut ties with her son now !! No.

Relationships go on where ever you live. Had you joined your hubby when he was outside the country, your mom would have lived with it, isnt ?

So, dont give in to any tantrums from anyone that could put your married life into jeorpardy ! Your husband will not put up with this stress for long .. What if all hell breaks loose someday ? You will have too many relationships to worry about !!! Let your mommy understand that she has the decent rights over you, but there seems to be a line that has to be drawn between this relationship between her and the one that came through you..

Just as we accept the fact that MIL can never be mommies, pertaining to DIL's, we need to know it is the same to Son-in-laws too !

 

Son inlaw living with inlaws and putting up with such a MIL ...its really a nasty thing as per me!!!! That too if you know about your moms nature, why did you take that decision???

Be STERN, move out, initially your mom would be angry as usual, but again slowly she would come to talking terms...so dont pay attention and dont be afraid. If your husband was so understanding and supportive all this while, dont make him resent you/your parents for making him gothrough all this nonsense.

Put yourself in his shoes and think if your MIL was like this what would you have done???

MOVEOUT!! Period

 

Move Out as ASAP

We are all grown adults and nobody wants to be controlled by others especially a son in law controlled by his MIL .If you guys continue to take this it will burst out someday and rupture the relation ship permanently .If you move out only your MOm is affected and rest of you will have a peaceful life.She will be OK after a while because a mother is mother afterall and she will come around so don't worry about her and move out as soon as you can