Dealing with colleagues talking to me but not facng me directly

persecutedDIL · Aug 28, 2014

Radhai said: ↑

where on earth is this company that flourishes this forum so gracefully!
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Aww...everybody has freedom of speech and expression.

OP, you really need to change your company dear. Or else please let me know the name of this company so that I don't end up there by mistake. It seems to have pernicious evil in the form of lecherous interrupting giggling guffawing uncouth ill-mannered males ogling Pretty Young Girls/Women. If you want you can blacklist this company on glassdoor.

Roar · Aug 28, 2014

I havent faced so many issues myself.. well ,but you are thriving inspite of all this. your people skills are actually better than me. No really.

people0skills · Aug 30, 2014

bump

people0skills · Oct 15, 2014

googleglass, satchi... I need your inputs on this, pls

sheztheone · Oct 19, 2014

You seem to be too good and refined for this company.

Umanga · May 2, 2017

people0skills said: ↑

Another personality development thread.

So, do we actually have a verb for such act? someone talking to me, about me but not facing me directly. The incidents are like this.

There is this colleague of mine and whenever there is a conversation, or most of the times, when it revolves around me, he/she tends to face other person and speak about me. The intentions are crystal clear - venting out, making fun of me, taunting me. I am really not sure if they speak about me in my absence, but I always think that if I am around and I am the topic of conversation, why not face me directly. And most of the times, what I say also goes into thin air for whatever reason. They are more loud.

or there could be a topic which I am not well versed with, so I keep mum. And one goody goody colleague says, "why don't you talk something??" and next comes a conversation which I can talk about and when I do that the same colleague is making long faces and kinda taunts or pokes. But since I can talk about that topic I can easily vanish that taunt by another taunt/fact and that keeps them mum. But that kinda increases the rift. I cannot afford to see those long, sulking faces.

Gawd.. I am desperately trying to improve myself and need a solution to all such incidents.
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You are suffering because you are a highly-sensitive, Westernised introvert. You cannot "improve" your personality because you are who you are. You know how to speak in English, you know how to dress well, you know what a dessert spoon is. This baffles Indians. The sad part is, you shall not find respite in the West. We have to face different problems in the West. Some might be shocked that you speak English, they will make fun of your accent and you might not find them to be as sophisticated and cosmopolitan as you hoped. People like us suffer because we confound expectations wherever we go. The trick is to work from home or find a source of income that does not force us to interact with people. I am not sure you are there yet. But I can already see that office life will destroy you.