I have a polite but formal type of relationship with my co-sister (husband's brother's wife) but given that she is my co-sister, we can't just avoid talking to one another altogether. Unfortunately, in spite of us maintaining pleasantries when talking on the phone over the course of my marriage for the past several years, I don't feel very comfortable with her, due to the following: * Possible judgments on alcohol - we (my husband, myself, brother-in-law, co-sister and some of their friends) all went to celebrate on New Years' Eve one time, and I saw that my co-sister drank then. I don't care/judge, she is free to do as she wishes, but only mention because I know our parent in-laws wouldn't be happy if they knew (they are traditional). Also, I don't drink; my co-sister asked me (before we went for festivities) if I drink; when I said no, she asked me if I ever did and I honestly told her I tried a small amount in college once/twice due to peer pressure but that's it. She told me she likes sangria. Not sure why she wanted to know about my habits - later, when returning home from festivities, she told me "good you didn't drink". I was thinking, yes, good, not only because of the impact of alcohol, but maybe she would have told on me to our in-laws if I drank, in spite of herself doing so? * Religious Functions and Expectations - my co-sister asked me (just one year after my marriage) if I keep navratri golu, even though she herself hasn't been keeping it after many years of her marriage. I started keeping after 2nd or 3rd year of marriage, but it struck me strange that she asked me that in spite of not doing so herself. On a separate religious function, she asked me, on her own, if I would be getting my menses during that time (as in saying, please don't attend if that will be the case). Considering that she herself doesn't follow all the traditional rules of our families (e.g. she drinks alcohol sometimes, wears less 'conservative' clothing at times even in front of in-laws, even keeps eggs at home (we are all vegetarians and moreover I avoid egg products too)), not sure why this particular issue was so important to her. I was not happy with her asking me that but kept my cool and just told her that 'I will take care of it' (so it won't be an issue). My co-sister also asked me if I light puja lamp daily. I am not sure if she herself does and it is not my business. (To be fair, maybe I am also a hypocrite as I don't like or actually believe in avoiding traditional/religious activities during menses though follow it as much as possible when around others. That being said I did voice my opinions and reasoning on this matter to my MIL one time so my in-laws know how I feel about this). To sum up, I try not to judge my co-sister for her personal habits/lifestyle but why she needed to ask me all these personal questions is beyond me. She even asked me my weight on another occasion (no, she is not a doctor or in the health profession and I am neither overweight nor underweight so what use is this info to her?). I think a lot of our difference in understanding one another is that she grew up in South India, whereas I grew up in US from the age of 6. Our occasional phone conversations are okay, and I enjoy talking with her son too and have no issues with my brother-in-law (her husband), but I am dreading the next time we meet in person. Am I in the wrong? The thing is, not sure how I can (in a nice way) tell her that I would appreciate if she try to accept me for whatever personal habits/beliefs I have (just as I do for her) and if we can just discuss less intrusive topics, such as what we do on weekends, our favorite foods/books/movies/restaurants or any other neutral topic. It would be nice if our relationship can improve but that can't be forced and will take patience and effort on both sides.