Dad is having an affair, help!!!

Welcome, my friend! I am glad you are not DA.

I agree. Knowing the Indian families, you and I both know she will come to know and he will eventually pay! It may not all happen in one fell swoop or in an open way.

 

Yes, I too was wondering about Vidya's accomplice statement

 

I wonder how women in India who are allegedly weak and meek and cannot handle any news that may come shocking, say like a extramarital affair, handle situations before they have grown up sons and daughters to act as proxies?

And once again, I'd like to chime in and say it is entirely inappropriate and totally out of line for the kids to handle affairs of marriage between mum and dad, that too keeping the mum in the dark about the whole thing. As a wife, she has the right to know and she is the rightful person to confront the husband and resolve the situation. Kids are not vigilante protectors of their parents' marriage. The best they can do in a situation like this is be supportive and stand by the parents while they resolve this matter between them.

But the idea that a grown up kid can act as a proxy for their parent and confront the other parent in matters pertaining to their marriage while keeping the victim in the dark throughout this process, is plain ludicrous and entirely inappropriate.

Sarma, saying India is sexist and that is how things are in reality in India and accepting the status quo is probably worse than armchair liberalism. Afterall, doesn't everyone want change in the Indian system or atleast I have seen that phrase thrown liberally around here. Unless it is sprinkled around purely for lip service, change has to start somewhere. Maybe a bunch of armchair liberals trying to effect change is better than saying 'That is how things are in India so nothing can be done'. Armchair liberalism, as you put it, is a start. A bunch of armchair liberals criticizing the status quo is an indication of change in attitudes in the society and it is a good start and may pave the way for actually making that change.

 

Malavika,

I called India sexist but I do not support status quo. I support armchair liberals but I prefer them not to 'call for action' at the cost and potential harm to others and become demagogues themselves.

 

Any change you bring about in a society, there are always people who are going to claim it is harming them or hurting their sentiments. There will always be people with their arms up in the air no matter what change you bring about and however good it is. I don't think people who criticize the existing system or proposing liberal ideas are trying to become demagogues necessarily. Having said that, here is a hypothetical question for you. Do you prefer the demagogues who are favouring the current system?

I think people criticizing the existing system and seeking changes is an indication that there is a considerable number of people who have changed attitudes and outlooks and if those ideas are progressive, then it is good for the society. That is how societies change and progress gradually.