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Confused !!

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by dream.girl, Nov 4, 2011.

  1. dream.girl

    dream.girl Silver IL'ite

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    These days I am too confused about my future. My divorce is in the end and hopefully in an year it will get over, if my Ex agrees for mutual and signs for document.

    I feel so frustrated thinking about my single life, It's like everyother hour I end up thinking I am single:drowning. It's very exhausting, sometimes I feel I am thinking too much, may be should stop it and concentrate on my career. I need 2-3 yrs to complete my doctoral degree, and now I feel I can only marry someone after finishing my studies. I am unable to come to a decison. I strongly feel, I shouldn't go for a araanged marriage, search someone by my own but do not know how?? I want to shift to U.S after couple of yrs, so chances of meeting people might be more than in the current residing country :hide:

    I am going crazy with all these thoughts :spin
     
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  2. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Dreamgirl,
    You are feeling what anybody would in your situation , its natural.
    You can marry during your doctoral degree , many do. Also you need not wait to relocate for marriage.
    Keep your choices , thought process open and and things will work out.
    Be flexible .
    Life is about adjustments and compromises , its never perfect.
    It would be better if you give yourself time to get out of the mess first.
    Concentrate on your studies, career instead of dreaming of another alliance even before the divorce is over.
    Have positive thoughts all will be well.
     
  3. tinku

    tinku Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Dreamgirl,
    I dont know what happened to you which has led to this situation. U know there are many around the world sailing in the same boat as you. Dont worry. If u really want a divorce go ahead with a strong mind. Divert yourself doing some work, hobbies, surfing the net, etc. Of course, the pain wud be unbearable. But you can lessen it with all these means.

    There are so many cases mentioned in this forum who have gone through all those tough episodes. Do read them so that the burden in your heart lessens. Make a strong affirmation that you are more happier in life than what you already were.

    Try to build your career so that you wont have time to think about all these incidents. Marriage is only a chapter. Life is not just marriage or love or romance alone. Divert your mind in other activities. There are many more good things in life waiting to unfold. Move on dear. Dont loose hope. You ll find yourself in better situation tommorow. Time can heal great wounds however deep they were.

    Go to those days when you were young, unmarried, enjoying life. Replay those days in your mind. You can approach a counsellor for mental support which is very needy at the moment.

    My best wishes for a better tommorow.
     
  4. rkgurbani

    rkgurbani IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Dreamgirl,

    It is but natural for you to feel like this. But as they say.....whatever happens it is for the best.

    We do not know what are the circomstances that have led to your divorce, but if you are glad you took that decision then there is no reason for you to feel low. The end of one relatioship always opens doors for another. Perhaps there is someone better waiting out there for you.

    But right now, don't get depresssed and dont let this divorce take a toll on you. Let the legal formalities go through. Take some time off and finish your studies. By then you will be ina better state of mind. Keep your options open and yes, if you come across someone nice.....go ahead and start afresh.

    Wish you the best for your life
     
  5. blackbeauty84

    blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi DreamGirl,

    My divorce is also in progress & I'm too thinking on the same lines. I think it's natural to feel same. Emotions come on & off to me, somedays i feel happy its over other days just feel like having a companion next to me. Yeah dreaming that i will have a good life partner in future, makes me sail through today. I think it's a feel positive note to my mind.

    Concentrate of your doctrate. Develop a hobby, it will help you to distract your mind. Look into the positive aspects that life has given you. You can meet a right person, irrespective of whatever country you are in. Meet lot of people. You never know when you will come across the right person.
     
  6. dream.girl

    dream.girl Silver IL'ite

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    Thankyou gals, You keep my spirit up :)

    I am scared of this whole process of marriage. I doubt people, no more trust. I realized, I better give a pause for couple of yrs, by then I will complete my degree. I do not want to think too much and go crazy.

    Is 32 old for getting remarried ??
     
  7. blackbeauty84

    blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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    Chill Dream Girl. Take one things at a time. I see many woman going for marriage only at early thirties . 32 or whatever the number doesn't matter much nowadays. What's important is the person you marry & how comfortable you are with him. Nothing else matters.
     
  8. rkgurbani

    rkgurbani IL Hall of Fame

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    Hey dreamgirl....

    come on dear.....in today's world,life begins at 30!!! Don't despair. Concentrate on your degree, get a steady hold on yourself first and then set foot for the next step in your life. Smiles always and wish you all the best
     
  9. ivlakshmi

    ivlakshmi Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi,
    u dont have to wait for completing your doctorate degree for finding another person..try if there is any possibility of adjustment and compromise with ex ..if at all he is willing to change his ways ..else leave it to god.
     
  10. dream.girl

    dream.girl Silver IL'ite

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    I can never think of going back to my Ex even he changes his ways
     

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