Confused with husbands online affaire,phone calls and lies.

Hi Mitra, your DH is fooling you , even virtual affairs are affairs , even if he doesnt meet these girls ,he is still cheating you of his time ,affection and care.
Since you do not have a child ,you can walk put and make a new life for yourself easily. Most of the women in similar cases put up with a lot of nonsense because of kids.
Family may try to stop you from taking a drastic step ,but at the end of the day its your life and imagine living with a sadist for years and years !
Your DH has defended himself nicely , he is getting his thrills from cyber affairs, but why should you suffer ? You too deserve love and happiness .

 

Hi ,

I feel you should try and get a job. So that you are Financially independent. After that,dearie I think you can go for marriage counseling and subsequent to that file for a divorce. There is no point in taking verbal or physical abuses from a man of such a tainted character.Strictly avoid being pregnant. Do not bring the innocent soul into this mess.

Take Care Sweetie,
Lovleen

 

his first trial to threaten you (He tossed a stone in the dark)

His first win - he became strong

This indicates that He is worried about taking things to any one beyond you two. Your parents or inlaws will hit him hard if it goes till there. You got a powerful weapon here, you didnt use it correctly. (I believe that this is still a weapon to you, if you sharpen it and use it for later)

With his FIRST WIN above, he has been trying to shoot many stones on you further. He found that you are scared to leave him, you will beg him and bow for him.

Here his WIN is COMPLETE and your Loss is PARTIALLY LOST for FULL.

Now, you need to chase this real smooth.
I am sure he is having the fear to not to be away from the family and society. Dont submit yourself. Find the weak points, dont exploit them but try to use them to show him that how important is you are for him and for his family. Try to take every possible help from your Mother-in-Law.

 

Why!? In my opinion, the guy is a total loser - no two ways about it. Sorry to say, but someone who repeatedly cheats and plays these games is a total loser.

IMO, no point trying to "show him how important" etc. Try to separate and after sometime with God's grace you can find a better life partner.

 

hi..mitra
after reading ur thread iam feeling sorry..If you want my honest advise for every problem there is a solution first u don't get depress wat ever u did is rite..o<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 9"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 9"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/anusha/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/msoclip1/01/clip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <woNotOptimizeForBrowser/> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} a:link, span.MsoHyperlink {mso-ansi-font-size:9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:9.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family:Arial; mso-hansi-font-family:Arial; mso-bidi-font-family:Arial; color:blue; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} a:visited, span.MsoHyperlinkFollowed {colorurple; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} p {margin-right:0in; mso-margin-top-alt:auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Secti</style>“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking”..Its better u and ur husband need to talk about this matter say him to share everything with u like a gud frnd and tell him wat will happen if he contineous like that express ur self make him understand how important he is ur life..if ur husband agree with u the next thing is to call that girl u both speak with her and say to that girl abt our tradition..ask her to dont distrub again ...ask ur husband to say sorry to her because he did worng ...having a wife and encouraging other to share life with him..the mistake is with in ur husband and with her also ...say to her if this situation repeats again i will go to court of law...Dont think about divorce first...u try to handle ur husband propely if u think he is not reaching ur heart then u call ur parents and inlaws then place the problem infront of them ask him to speak ask him for the reasons why he should speak with the girl...always try to take decision with someone who thinks about u much dont take personal desions which u can't clear later...u share everthing with ur family don't hide anything with them ..hope u can manage ur self be brave dont get cornered everthing wil b fine ....try to understand ur husband and be wat he is expecting from u ...
gud luck...!!!

 

This is sheer adultrey and emotional abuse. just walk-out. You desrver a better life.

 

Dear,
I feel really sad after hearing your story.He is really a playboy.You are really an innocent.Please dont beg to him,you be very strict to him.God will give good solution for your kind heart.

 

Although I feel very sorry for you,I am surprised that you are still TTC with this jerk of a person.Pleeease,once a child arrives on the scene,it will become all the more difficult for you to think about your life..you will be forced to put up with his behaviour for the sake of your child.Please don't conceive now.

 

Good analysis Sreesri!!

I disagree with the conclusion.
This guy (Mitra's hubby) is total looser that is used to putting up facade!! MItra, please be careful with this guy.

How many more times are you going to beg him lady??? :bonk:bonk
Is your ultimate goal in life is to please a loser??
What makes you think your MIL will help you?

good luck
drjp

 

mitra,
all i wud tel you is.. stop being a doormat to him. he is not going to change and is taking u all for a ride.
just DUMP him and come back to india. trust me u will lead a better life...
sorry to say.. but ur hubby is ONE BIG LOSER..