Completely lost..please help me

I am seeking answers to questions and asking help from saving my dying spirit. sorry for the long post
I married for 4 yrs(Arranged marriage) and have 3 yr old DD.I stayed with in-laws for about 20(mother in-law and everyone in house abused and treated me badly) days after marriage with my dh and later moved to usa. I have multiple issues with my in-laws all because their unacceptable lies about their family.
my dh has two younger sisters who are elder to me.Elder sister is married to my mother i law
brother when she was 18. By the time i was married to my dh she was 30. All these years thay had issues in their marriage life and decided to take divorce but just stopped because if she has taken divorce no good family gives their daughter into such divorced sister family.
1 )MY in-laws told us their two daughters are well settled in their own marriages and got my marriage fixed with their son.Before marriage i spoke to my dh about everything i was,about my family(had prob with my father) and asked him if he has anything that he need to share he said NO. i came to know about his sister after marriage when am in us and shocked,betrayed and totally devastated not because
of the prob but about my dh betraying me.(I would have not married my dh if i knew about his sister)
2.Within 6 months of my marriage.my sister in law husband married to other girl(he is a good person and patiently waited for such a long time only because his wife is his sister's daughter.my sister inlaw doesn't want him because he is not educated and not earning well).i came to know about their separation one year later when my sister inlaw husband committed suicide just before the day of divorce with my sister inlaw.
After that those were my worst days ever in my life.right after i came to know abt this prob in my sister-in law marriage even though i was shocked i kept thinking all through my pregnancy and my baby early months about her on how to make them stay together again
(my dh kept lying to me she is not listening,she blames everybody and so on).my dh knows his sisters husband is already married and there is no way that they can stay together but kept on lying me even after seeing me in so much pain and stress i went through all this 1 year.
i completely felt hopeless,unwanted ignored about my dh thinking whatever may be the situation
he should tell me(If he would have done that i may not gone through all those stress,worriness,unstability and many things during my pregnancy)
4)when i asked him why didn't you tell, he simply said "i didn't think that really matters to u " and i didnt even understood how to react as i didn't expect him to say those lines as he saw me all the pain am in past year.I don't know how to frame my state of situation at that moment,Even had sleeping pills to sleep and gone through suicidal tendencies but survived only because of my daughter.

my in laws defends with my relatives about their daughter saying we will look after our daughter whats her problem.is that really not a problem?
if that is not really a problem why didn't they share with us before marriage.how acceptable it is to hide such things thinking what girls side parents or the girl can do if they come to know after marriage (This is killing me even today and i think i can never forgive or overcome such attitude)
my problems with my sis-in-law:
Everyone says she is in india and your in us how is she your prob.
she talk to my husband(more than me) daily on phone and chat him at least for an hour,talks about everything and bad mouth me.
she is more manipulative and bad than my mother in law and as she is not having family of her own and she is replacing my dh in her husband role depending on him for everything.
its like am dealing with two mother-in laws,both are possessive about their son and brother and they are not letting my dh to have his family life. From outside it looks like my dh is having family life as he is living with us physically from inside he is always with them.
it will be more and more complicated in future and i don't know how to handle this and she is never going to remarry.If my dh is supportive to me and understand and communicate with me then i would have handled it somehow
my dh mentality

1) I worked for 4 years before marriage and resigned my job just to join my dh in usa(I should have never done this).during my pregnancy he never took care of me.
never helped me in anything.even 10 days before my due-date i cleaned bathroom,did vacuum,cooked,cleaned utensils everything and dh never spent time with me about my pregnancy
he only took to me to hospital visits and paid bills.
My dh is mom-mas boy,he doesn't care for my emotions or my feelings he only thinks of his parents and sisters,whatever they say is right to him and immediately judges me and comes scolding me.All these 4 yrs there is no one occasion he discussed or communicated about anything to me or he politely spoke with me when my mother in law or sister in-law says something about me just to listen my side of story.From past 1 year we don't have any physical relationship.
i tried many times to discuss with him to sought of the things but he hurt his ego for everything and
will react so rudely and badly blames me in reverse that i end up crying not understanding what mistake i did after all. I lost count about the lack of affection he doesn’t show, the lack of conversation, the lack of everything really. I am convinced I mean absolutely nothing to him and he is only with me because of society.
i am not working all these years and slowly all these things started taking toll on me,am confident independent fun loving person before marriage.but i don't have any of those now.I know the solution to ignore my in laws and sister in law and to engage my self in job.(This just diverts my mind not solves my prob)
but i don't know how to live with a person who betrays you,do not trust you,who play politics with you,who doesn't care for you(even to an enemy we will show some courtesy to ask why are you not feeling well)I never heard such words from my dh.
My Dh behavior killing me,feeling so bad with all these prob i don't know what to do.I am completely lost.
Want to know,does anybody of you have such experience with your dh?
What kind of person my dh is and how to deal with him?
what should i do with my sister in law and feeling , my in laws attitude of What girl parents can do?
or I am thinking something wrong? Please help me...your answers will help me decide my life

 

Hi sunshine,
thanks for your reply,it meant a lot to me.Its not about the sister in law issue am worrying,the most concern part is my dh betraying me.Every family will have issues,even my family had issues with my father and i discussed everything openly with him and asked him to only accept this alliance if he is ok with it, because i think mutual respect and understanding is very imp and respected his emotions and feelings and dont want to betray him. i expected same from him but till today he does that.
We investigated about his family and as my sis-in-law marriage is within the family they held it so secretly till my marriage that's my karma i think.
I did not had suicidal tendencies because of my sis-in-law failure marriage its the feeling how harsh , rude,ignored i feel when my dh treats me like that.
i came to know about my sisterinlaw and my pregnancy at the same time,as i said its just beginning of my marriage and didn't expect my dh to turn out like this also am against going for abortion(its not easy for me).my daughter is the only reason am still staying in this relationship.
vaidehi..
thank you,i never ever spoke with dh abt my sis in law badly i always tried to be part of their family and never was i accepted into their family being good person or DIL doesnt work in my case I stopped speaking about their family matters with him long time back.
Hi rihana,
I tried a lot just for my daughter sake, forgot everything and never (+ or -ve)spoke about anything related to their family from past 3 years. doesn't matter how much effort i put there will be no + conversation from his side.Sometimes i feel that patience to wait for him to change sometimes i feel completely lost as am feeling now.How long should i live with such person who ignores me completely.
Yes i think job gives me some break and am trying hard for it.
Hi armummy,
it doent matter to me if my dh sister talk to him.it only matters to me if she wants to control it and my dh doesnt see it and offcourse i cannot talk to him about it(I feel trapped). I feel in such scenarios husband and wife should have proper communication otherwise the results would b ver bad.