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Child Sexual ABUSE Awareness-SHARE tips

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by racr, Apr 10, 2013.

  1. Dinny

    Dinny IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Child Sexual Awareness Month-April

    Those stats give me shudders Arch

    I am 101% sure thats true
     
  2. arch1209

    arch1209 Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: Child Sexual Awareness Month-April

    I know I am distressed by the thought, the long-term trauma of such experiences is so devastating.
     
  3. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Child Sexual Awareness Month-April

    When exactly is the right age to start teaching children about sexual awareness? Mine is almost 18 months old and am wondering what I can do.
     
  4. Nimbu

    Nimbu Silver IL'ite

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    Re: Child Sexual Awareness Month-April

    Hi All..I remember one of my college mate though it was years back ..it flashed my mind now. She told us that when she was about 7 years..one of her dad's distant relative came with his wife & kids and stayed in their house for vacation and that particular supposed to be called uncle at night times used to be touch her at all unwanted places. At the small age she assumed that may be if her brother would lie next to him he would do that and though felt very uncomfortable kept quiet. When she grew up in her high schooling her close relative who live with wife and kid behaved very bad for more than a year. Trust me ladies the person was a religious head ..she feared that even if she utter a word ..her entire life will be spoilt as no one would believe if that person had behaved in such a way.
    I remember how she used to cry saying those issues which happened and felt sick ...mentally depressed. No one ever would say that she carried such a burden at heart.

    Ladies please take care of your dear little ones!! Never let them fall trap for such unpleasant incidents!! Let God forbid such things for small kids who are ignorant.
     
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  5. Dinny

    Dinny IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Child Sexual Awareness Month-April

    You know i have a son and in todays world must i tell you that even young boys are exploited....the world is getting worst day by day and to educate children on sexual awareness is a mothers responsibility too...
    Telling them about a bad touch and good touch is very important.
    And like i said earlier in this thread its very important that we trust and support our children...if we dont then they might never tell us about such incidents
     
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  6. teacher

    teacher Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: Child Sexual Awareness Month-April

    Yes Dinny, girls AND boys can be exploited; men AND women can be predators. As Arch said, the long term impact on their emotional well being is tremendous. A clinical case manager i worked with stressed an important distinction between how adults and children see their role. Adults can understand that the predator crossed the boundaries whereas children internalize it and feel guilty.

    If a child comes up with such an experience then the first thing to do is to listen. And wherever possible, confront the predator-even if you don't think there will be an outcome, children must see and hear you standup for them. Abuse leaves the child feeling helpless...confronting the predator gives him/her some degree of control. The most important factor in recovery is family support (provided the predator is not a family member). Even if the predator is a family member, how the rest of the family functions in the aftermath of exposure is vital for the child's well being.

    Parents should take the child to a good counselor...we are often surprised by the anger the child shows. It challenges our views of a withdrawn and depressed 'victim'...but there is a lot of anger which needs to acknowledged and sorted out. the sooner a child is able to disclose and see a professional the better.
     
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  7. Dinny

    Dinny IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Child Sexual Awareness Month-April

    Completely agree to what you said teacher...children might just bottle up their feelings....and thats even worst for them because it will effect them in the long run....i hope and pray no child has to ever go through such bad experiences.
     
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  8. arch1209

    arch1209 Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: Child Sexual Awareness Month-April

    One of my friends worked with children that were abused sexually and most of them have symptoms of PTSD, like Teacher said that standing up for them and challenging the predator is key to making the child feeling reassured. It will also make the child think that they can approach their parents and the parent would always believe them.

    Rakhi - I think using little children's language to talk to them about their body helps. I know a therapist that uses dolls and drawings to point out to children about body parts that nobody should touch.

    I think we need to give children more agency and listen to their voices more. Sometimes even watch for unconscious cues, children leave a lot of indirect clues - be indirect as well and ask them questions indirectly.

    Understanding Child Sexual Abuse: Education, Prevention and Recovery

    The above is a resource that has helped a lot of parents. With male survivors, they are often worried that if they talk about it they might be viewed as "weak" and this questions their male-hood. I think we need to change gender stereotypes to tackle that, but individually just honoring the child's story be a good start point.
     
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  9. racr

    racr Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: Child Sexual Awareness Month-April

    Thanks to Arch for the great insights and inputs(As always!) and
    Dinny thanks to you as well for your inputs!

    Well,I'm here to share a book I came across yesterday in the library.There are many good books that deal with how to make children aware of sexual abuse,and how to deal with it. The unique thing about this book is that it is a collaborative effort of a mom(a teacher) and her son.It is based on and is the result of a horrifying experience the boy himself faced.I was really shaken by his account and his courage to face up to it -I salute you,Zack ! The book is very child-friendly and since it is from one kid to another,it really touches a chord!

    So,without further ado..here's the book..please try to get it from the library or other sources. I'm not sure if its easily available outside the U.S.


    isaidno.jpg

    I said NO! A kid-to-kid guide to keeping private parts private - By Zack and Kimberly King


     
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  10. arch1209

    arch1209 Platinum IL'ite

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    Racy - I love the title of the book "I said No!" It is so emphatic and powerful - stresses on how it is important for everyone to learn that "No, means No!"
     
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