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Child Psychiatrist - Is It Good Idea? Toddler & Newborn

Discussion in 'Toddlers' started by sanjuruby3, Jun 8, 2019.

  1. sanjuruby3

    sanjuruby3 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi,

    I have 5 yr old girl and newborn in the house and my life is hell. My DD is not ready to accept younger one in the house and creating problems. Every day there is so much mayhem and noise in the house. We do not ignore her at all and take care of all her needs just because we in the core feel guilty of something and my H does not hardly come near baby so that she does not feel but she is living in all those insecurities and fights us for each every day and uses foul language for everything.
    Like, eat food, no.. throw food in trash, i will throw you in trash, thrown baby..you get out of house, i ll go away and not come back.
    Little background, at 4 yrs age, i started feeling her behaviour aggressive at home and stubborn and everything for herself at home so i decided another child.She is very shy outside and won't ask anything or even speak anything in class. Usually plays all alone in classroom and won't even mix other than 1 or 2 kids. We take her out a lot to friends places or parks or parties so she be social but no. There used to be fights in mornings to get ready, I want this that, and empty stomach she will go to school, also her mornings start with TV. everybody end up screaming.

    POST baby, with newborn, situ is worse. TV has become her right and she starts, sleeps and noon with tV. We have less patience, I do not get rest, no sleep. Days she is at home, is like hell for me. She won't let baby have anything, blankets, she will pull from him . No toy nothing. Will grab everything and take it away. Sometimes we get mad and tell her we will get him new.Then, for dad, she won't let him come or enter the room baby is in. She will create scene to move his attention to her like I got hurt etc. So I sleep with baby and DD and Dad sleeps separate. Morning if he gets up early, she will sense and start crying worry he is with baby. Moreover, she gets very jealous and hits me, when I take care of baby and specially I feed the baby. Slams the doors, throws things at me each every time and not let him take bottle also.
    I try to talk to her in neutral environments and remind her that 1000 times/day that mom dad loves her very much and more. No matter what... I try to tell her in all ways, with examples from other families, how other friends in class have siblings, future advantages and life with sibling. But as soon as she is home, it begins all over. She tells me she does not want him and liked when baby was not in your tummy at all.

    In a way, she feels baby hurts me and i was in pain when baby came so she hates him. She saw me in pain when i delivered :-((. I know it is all our fault and its all upbrining that is showing up now.
    Now she just does not listen.

    Please suggest if we should go to child psychiatrist? Any experience? You think it might help .Is it covered by insurance?
    My H is not easy to talk into or take in suggestions from me. This is part of problem but I will try to fix the situation.
     
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  2. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    My older sibling threatened to throw me out of the window ( He was 3 when I was born) . I am still around and we became best friends years later.
    I remember reading your posts about husband letting the daughter get away with things . It is hard to tell her tantrums are thanks to him or something else.
    Have you had any complains from school ? You will need to see a child psychologist and get a evaluation done, if you worry about her behavior. You should check with your insurance company because the coverage laws vary between states and also depends on the plan.
    I hope your daughter warms up to the little one soon.
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  3. sanjuruby3

    sanjuruby3 Gold IL'ite

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    I hear that its common and takes 6 - 1 yr for older sibling to get adjusted but also when i ask my friends with 2nd kid, newborn and same age difference, they say their older ( girl) was okay with birth of new one and is big help around.
    Eventually it will get better but it is slow and harsh on us right now. We all said things to our younger ones, like I used to tell me sister we picked you from temple. but my daughters case is strange. I can not trust my son with her. Moreover she has become foul mouther and bad manners at home. IN school or outside, she is the quietest kid who does not utter a word or even ask water or restroom if needs.
     
  4. sokanasanah

    sokanasanah IL Hall of Fame

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    Slight tangent: Get rid of the TV. If you find that difficult, then it means that you have become dependent on it, so it's no surprise that your daughter is entranced by the screen.
     
    Srama and Amulet like this.

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