Cheeniya And His Alter Ego

Iravati · Jun 15, 2017

Cheeniya said: ↑

@Iravati
A soliloquy by a pensive Sri:
This is the problem with him. He will never be around when he is needed most. Needed for what, you may ask. Needed for advice, of course. I want to ask him what to make of all the chit-chatting that goes on all around the town about our meeting. You stirred the hornet's nest and quietly disappeared. You specialise in avoiding people when they need you most! I have a lot to talk to you about. Particularly about my rambling. Do you think I should go back to my lizards and roaches? They seem to be my lucky charms with a singular capacity to take me places. Or do I poke my nose in every conceivable area? I am at the cross-roads now and I need your counselling badly!
Alt Sri appears silently as is his wont.
Alt Sri: What is your problem?
Sri: You heard me. I am at the cross roads.
Alt Sri: Cross roads? Where are you heading to?
Sri: Don't make fun of me. I am in a serious mood.
Alt Sri: Look! You are good at whatever you are good at.
Sri holds his head in his hands.
Alt Sri: What I mean is why do you ask for my help all of a sudden? Disappears.
Sri starts chewing the mouse for the next topic. Mouse of the PC of course. You know he is a strict vegetarian.
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A Dialogue Concerning the Two World Systems by Ira:
Alt-Ira: How did you miss responding to his soliloquy yesterday?
Ira: I didn't. I was thinking ....(deep guttural voice) ...what to respond. He at least has his lizard and roach and now a vegetarian mouse series to fall back on. What do I have? May be I should seize the beard series.

Alt-Ira: Beards and Moustaches are also his domain. Since when did you elevate yourself to original writing. Stick to feedbacks. You are good at whatever you are good at.
Ira: You mean there are no topics for me to write about anymore?

Alt-Ira: That man is at the cross roads because he has options. You, on the other hand, should not even be driving on any road. Just stick to the kerb. Do you even think for a second what others think of you both?
Ira: He is senile and I am juvenile. People are soft on us. They think he like lizards and I am absurd.

Alt-Ira: He has a suitable "soliloquy" title, what's up with your "dialogue" followed by a mile-long wording.
Ira: That I borrowed from Galileo's book of the same name. Isn't it pretty?

Alt-Ira: You don't let Galileo rest in peace, finally. You had to go and provoke him too. Listen to me. Stay away from any original writing with such pretentious titles. Ramble away only in feedbacks. Do you get it? Disappears.

(Ira mocks her exit. She scratches her head. Collects some dandruff in her nails and stops scratching.)

Ira: May be I should title it as "A Recurring Dialogue Concerning The Two Alternating World Systems by Ira, The World's Greatest Juvenile Rambler". Nevermind.

Cheeniya · Jun 15, 2017

@Iravati

Iravati said: ↑

That line is henceforth mine.
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Nothing will delight me more than you using my lines. With this kind of reception, I'll ramble more mindlessly henceforth! So far, I had been using less mind in my rambling but mindless rambling will be tougher!

Cheeniya · Jun 15, 2017

@Iravati

Iravati said: ↑

"A Recurring Dialogue Concerning The Two Alternating World Systems by Ira, The World's Greatest Juvenile Rambler"
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It is easy to be the World's greatest juvenile rambler as there may not be many ramblers in that age group. But among senile, the competition is very tough. As each happens to be greater than the other, the search for the greatest rambler would be like going after the mirage!

LakshmiKMBhat · Jun 15, 2017

Cheeniya said: ↑

Cheeniya was sitting alone staring at the computer screen and running his hands aimlessly through his bald head. ‘What could have gone wrong?’ he muttered under his breath. There was a sound of someone approaching. He looked up and saw his alter ego in the mirror. He grimaced and muttered ‘He is here again’

‘Yes, I am here again’ responded the alter ego. “I have told you a hundred times that you are woefully lacking in the skill to read the mind of people’

‘I don’t want you to come here early in the morning and shoot your mouth aimlessly’ cheeniya replied in a wounded tone.

‘Why are you getting angry with me as if I am responsible for this mess?’ asked the alter ego.

‘Do you have to come here early in the morning and irritate me? Is not a man entitled for his peace and privacy?’ wailed cheeniya

‘I have not come here to cause you any mental anguish. On the contrary, I have come here to help you out of your trouble. But before that, can you tell me the cause for your present anguish?’ asked the alter ego.

‘You are the all-knowing like the Almighty. Why do you ask me?’

‘Ok. Your latest thread posted two days back has got only four feedbacks and that’s bothering you. Isn’t it?’ asked the alter ego.

‘Nothing can escape the notice of this terrible fellow. Not even my innermost feelings!’ thought cheeniya and felt even more miserable.

‘Be sensible cheeniya. You can’t blame the people for not responding to the muck you write’ said the alter ego in a direct attack.

‘It’s not muck. It’s soulful rendering of my aging process’

‘Who is interested in your aging process?’ shouted the alter ego adding ‘everyone goes bald and have a white beard at your age. You talk of it as if you have performed a miracle!’

‘I did not mean it to sound like a miracle. I just wanted people to know how such changes in our physiology should be approached. I mean how joyfully!’

‘Joyfully? You don’t give me that impression’ retorted the alter ego.

‘How does one communicate his feeling of joy? By grinning from ear to ear?’ cheeniya asked angrily. It was obvious that the dialogue with his alter ego was getting on his nerves.

‘Listen’, said the alter ego. ‘It is alright if you write about yourself once or twice. The problem with you is that if people showed appreciation for your approach to a certain subject, you get stuck with it’

‘I don’t write a long serial about any subject. Even about my growing old, this is only my third or fourth’, lamented cheeniya.

‘Third or fourth? Come on cheeniya! Grow old! Of course, I can’t even say that to you for you have grown old enough. The problem with you is that when you find a particular topic gets popular with readers, you get stuck to it like a fly in honey! It happened with your lizard series too in the past’ the alter ego pointed out.

‘As a writer, is it not my duty to give the readers what they want from me?’ asked cheeniya in a wounded tone.

‘Who told you that they wanted a serial on your growing old? Or for that matter, on the lizards that frequent your home? Show variety old man! For another six months, don’t talk of your bald hair and white beard. Remember, you got a knocked for calling a white beard as gray? I could not control my laughter!’ The alter ego started laughing uncontrollably.

‘Listen’, he continued, ’Give yourself a break. What I mean is give your readers a break!’ he chuckled and disappeared from the mirror.

Dear Sir, As your reader, I do not want a break Regards, Lakshmi
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Cheeniya · Jun 15, 2017

@LakshmiKMBhat
Dear Lakshmi
Thank you for that heartening line! But who told you that I was going to give a break?
Sri

Iravati · Jun 16, 2017

Cheeniya said: ↑

Nothing will delight me more than you using my lines. With this kind of reception, I'll ramble more mindlessly henceforth! So far, I had been using less mind in my rambling but mindless rambling will be tougher!
Click to expand...

Alt-Sri: You senile rambler! With your half-a-mind rambling, you have barely managed to engage an audience of 6-7 people. Mindless rambling will drive the remaining people away. Why do you want to bring upon such opprobrium on youself? Why such daredevil stunts? I think you should stick with your senile rambling and not be too ambitious to promote yourself as a mindless rambler. That might terrify people to come anywhere near you. Well, you never listen to me. So, go suit yourself.

(Alt-Sri grabs a bottle of pepsi and vanishes into thin air)

Iravati · Jun 16, 2017

Cheeniya said: ↑

It is easy to be the World's greatest juvenile rambler as there may not be many ramblers in that age group. But among senile, the competition is very tough. As each happens to be greater than the other, the search for the greatest rambler would be like going after the mirage!
Click to expand...

I recently came across an Australian poet called Alec Derwent Hope. I don't know if you have heard of him. May be you have. He once said,

I will have no truck with the scribblers of my time
Who try to pass off their chopped-up prose as verse....

In the senile competitive world, if each rambler is greater than the other, then we need an astute judge like AD Hope to scoff at the sham ramblers in an adapted version as,

I will have no buck with the ramblers of my time
Who try to pass off their mindless scramble as a ramble....

[buck in American slang is a person with the lowest rank]

I have faith in you that you are an archetypal "rambler" who never chops or scrambles his thoughts. They are always full-on ramble! Be self-assured of your talent.

Footnote:

You may find these links to Hope's biography and his works interesting.

AD Hope
Book of answers to questions raised by poets and poems
Some more or sample him at Do not replace sauce for the Portugander (my fav)

Cheeniya · Jun 16, 2017

@Iravati

Iravati said: ↑

I think you should stick with your senile rambling and not be too ambitious to promote yourself as a mindless rambler
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Sri mutters to himself: This guy thinks he owns me! But I find it extremely difficult to over-rule his suggestions.
So saying, he goes and hides himself behind his Senile Rambling.

Cheeniya · Jun 16, 2017

@Iravati

Iravati said: ↑

I will have no buck with the ramblers of my time
Who try to pass off their mindless scramble as a ramble.
Click to expand...

Iravati said: ↑

Be self-assured of your talent.
Click to expand...

Thus assured, I'll be fully assured of my talent the moment I come to know what it is!

Viswamitra · Jun 16, 2017

Dear Cheeniya Sir,

Responses take time but will definitely come for everyone of your ramblings. You choice of subjects make your ramblings very interesting. Besides, the sense of humor in everyone of your sentences make reading of your ramblings pleasant. I am not aware of anyone's snippets that are read again and again for the past ten years. After reading one of your ramblings, I decided to respond to everyone of your snippets written since inception. But promptness with which you respond to each one of such responses shows your commitment to welcome more readers.

Keep doing what you do best.

Viswa