Can You Please Help Me

OP- you need to tell us more about the situation at hand for members here to be able to help you .

 

How long you been married. Is this marriage consummated yet? Please provide more details. It's not necessary to have physical intimacy on weddings night. If that is what you are trying to explore.
https://www.quora.com/Is-it-necessary-to-have-sex-on-first-night-of-marriage

 

It appears that the "aunties" who were supposed to counsel you and prepare for the various possibilities had failed in your case.
Lots of boys have performance jitters. They'd have had ideas for how it all would work out, and eventually on the big match day, he'd be there to shoot the football into a pretty much open goal, and in his excitement he'd shoot it far outside the post. The worst thing that could happen is the goalie (seeming to) make fun of him. Wedding day, with all the rich foods, and crowds is also a tiresome day, albeit enjoyable for a lot of others. In foreign countries, a good uncle might have given him a glass of sherry (tonic for dutch courage) before he went out to face you.

In these 4.5 months, have you two been talking to each other ? Did you go out of town on a honeymoon?

Making a new husband feel at ease, relax, and not be so performance-conscious, would go far in getting you the kind of nookie you desire. Relax, and be kind, and see how it goes.

 

OP, it is perfectly normal to want it, need it. There is nothing to feel sorry about needing it. It is ALSO normal to NOT consummate the marriage on wedding night.

Weddings are tiresome events and expectations can affect anyone's performance. Especially for men, it becomes a question of their "manliness" as pressure increases from his friends, uncles and brothers. It happens. DOn't let it get you down.

There are other ways to do it. Even if you don't have actual intercourse, you both can please each other in other ways. Ranging from simply holding hands to cuddling to using your hands and if comfortable, mouth - this is a two way street

Get comfortable with each other. Get to know each other as partners, likes and dislikes. Go on a vacation. DO not harp on the fact "it didn't happen on the wedding night" or "it has been 4 months and it has not happened". The more you make that an issue, the more it comes between you two. He realizes that you are unhappy he couldn't give what you want (believe me he feels that way anyway) and when you show your disappointment upfront, it affects his performance more. Pressure helps nobody.

You are in this together, for life. Give your relationship time, give it love, give it understanding. It will happen.

 

Did you indulge in some foreplay? Initial days/ Months , it's very normal to hit a roadblock when a guy tries to enter you such as failing to sustain an erection, very tight/painful getting in etc. But then, there are other ways of fulfilling as well. If you have tried all the means, then please visit a doctor. It could be just a simple tip, that would help you overcome this.

May we understand where exactly the problem lies? U are not very specific about the issue, where it went wrong. So i suspect it must be the guy who has the problem.

Tip 1: My bf did have some starting trouble during the days he was stressed/overworked, he got one tablet of the indian version of Viagra from the pharmacy and had a fraction ( Not sure if he had 1/4th or lesser that that ) of the tablet after dinner before we made love , this did the trick . It resolved the starting trouble !! Basically its prescribed for erectile dysfunction patients, but a fraction of that does the trick.
Tip 2: If during the act, he tried getting him into me , but it was'nt erect, then he spends some time in rubbing it against the clit , this inturn creates a sensation that makes him erect ( it did feel good for me as well) and then once he is erect he gets in.
Tip 3: Also sometimes, he loses the erection when he tries to put in a condom , so it would be good if you engage your hands on him to put the condoms for him.

The basic problem in your case is you are not that experienced , so once you overcome the starting trouble couple of times, he will get the confidence and will know how erections works. The problem both with Men and women is, sometimes we feel pressure. And this really hurts the confidence, self esteem etc, But in reality just simple tips can help you overcome.


Thanks,
Rekha
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