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came to know that ex is married

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by ivlakshmi, Dec 12, 2011.

  1. ivlakshmi

    ivlakshmi Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi IL friends,

    I have seen in ex FB that a lady listed him as my ex husband..
    so i feel tht he is remarried.. I am feeling really low. I hav how ever reduced number of profile visits to his profile..yesterday I had a sleepless night after seeing this..I feel like checking with his friends on this..pls suggest..i knw it is his life now but feel like knowing
     
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  2. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear friend,
    Please, please stop tracking your ex. He is a part of your history. Unless you stop thinking and following him you will never move forward.
    Its doubtful if your EX is tracking you.
    Men just delete the past and move ahead unlike women.
    Obviously your ex can remarry , have kids like you can so why bother?? Please dont ask your friends to find out as it will show you as a desperate weak woman which you are not.
     
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  3. inlovewithmylyf

    inlovewithmylyf Platinum IL'ite

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    Lakshmi, I think that ur already in search of some good alliance for re-marriage... How are u doing tht when u still have not forgotten or trying to forget ur Ex??? Please try to move him out of ur heart... He is no more urs, whether he's re-married or not... Already many ladies had advised u earlier to stop visiting his profile... If ur unable to do tht, then u better delete ur profile and stay away from these social networking sites for quite some time... When he is no more bothered about u and has married another girl, why should you be worried and spoil ur sleep thinking of someone who is not yours and not going to come back to u...

    Lakshmi, I understand that its difficult but you have to forget him or atleast make attempts on ur own to do it... Its not good to keep thinking about him, what he is doing and how he is doing... Its going to create troubles in ur married life later when u get married to someone else... U need to be more matured, make up ur mind and take him away from ur heart and mind... Just think likes this, "When he does not want me, why should I spoil my life thinking of him"... I hope u understand and act accordingly... Take care...
     
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  4. Anyuna

    Anyuna Silver IL'ite

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    I really cannot understand.He moved on that's it .May be you have some residual feelings left .Flush it off and start new.Good luck.
     
  5. inlovewithmylyf

    inlovewithmylyf Platinum IL'ite

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    N u have also said in another thread that his parents are trying to create a bad name for u... U know all this and still you wanna keep thinking of ur Ex?? U should never even bother to think about him for what he and his family is doing. Why are you thinking of someone who is trying to spoil ur name in the society? Ignore them and move on...
     
  6. Coffeelover

    Coffeelover Platinum IL'ite

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    Lakshmi, Wake up and smell the coffee!!! This is your life. Don't spoil it because of your ex. It is hard to forget him. i can understand it. But checking profile all the time is going to drive you crazy. He is gone. That is why "EX". You move on with your life. Have friends and enjoy your family. Stay away form Facebook.

    He can do what he wants. Now you may be upset, but when you meet a right person, you will thank your EX for not staying the marriage. I have seen people like you. Be happy. Past is past. Live for today and future.

    Good luck.
     
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  7. inlovewithmylyf

    inlovewithmylyf Platinum IL'ite

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    Lakshmi, CL is absolutely right... Let me tell u what happened to me... I was engaged to a person as soon I finshed college and started working... My parents found me a guy... I spoke to him, he seemed to be really good... His family was also good to me... I got engaged to him... A few months before engagement, one day my dad n uncle went to his place to see if everything was ok... When my dad came back, he was not happy with the things tht happened at their place... He said we still have time to say no to them as engagement is not over... I thought about it... Even my uncle was not sooo happy... Finally, I spoke to the guy, I told him like, my dad is not very happy, we are thinking whether to carry this propsal forward or not... He was in the US at that time... He immediately informed his parents, n his dad called me... He said like we are sorry if we had said something wrong to ur dad or uncle... We are away from our native since two decades so we really don't know our culture n all... I felt thwat was convincing and I told my dad that they were really good n there was some miscommunication, thts it... I said I am interested in the guy... My dad did not wanna say a no because he knew that I was really interested in the guy... The engagement was over... A few days after the engagement, they started showing their true colors... His dad calls me up everyday n keeps talking for one hour daily and he says like he is the one who selects even his elder DILs clothes and I should also follow the same... I should consider their family more important than mine and all... Then he slowly made his elder DIL ask me how much gold my parents will give me for the wedding... When I heard all this, I felt, this is not gonna work out... They are not good as I had thought... So, I told my parents and told them tht I cannot marry such a guy and just because I need a partner in my life, I cannot lose my self-respect and be a slave to them n obey them and also I cannot forget my family who has done so much for me and would do anything to see me happy... Finally the engagement was called off... They tried all sorts of convincing but I was not ready to believe them another time, I was firm in my decision and I thought I cannot lose my parents for someone who does not value relationships... Tht time only my family was in front of my eyes... I knew that if the wedding gets cancelled, they might be sad for a few days but if I get married to him, they will have to lose their daughter and cry forever... N I did not wanna allow that to happen... Everyone in my family were upset for sometime... Immediately, my parents posted my profile on BM... I got a request from my DH... We were very careful this time... We spoke a couple of times n understood each other... Got engaged in a few days and then got married... Now, I am the happiest person in this world... :) ... I have the best husband and in-laws... Not once have my husband or in-laws asked me about the engagement that was called off or anything... Even when I told my husband before the wedding what happened, he said all that is past and I am not interested in knowing that... I want u to forget all that and be happy... Now, I am really thankful to God for having been so kind to me... If I had not know their true colors before marriage, I would have been in a trap and also I would not have got this wonderful husband and family... I am only a little sad that I did not listen to my dad then... But then I just feel that my dad wants me to be happy and I am happy now, so is he... So, he would definitely forgive me for not listening to him...

    I did not want to get into my past... But I have posted it here because I just wanted to help u by telling that just because ur Ex left u, ur life has not come to an end... Ur Ex s not ur only world, think of ur parents too... U have some self-respect, please dont lose it for someone who does not deserve u... Have faith in God... Everything happens for good... U will definitely get a very very good life... Please forget ur Ex n move on with ur life... Take care...
     
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  8. sushmavja

    sushmavja Platinum IL'ite

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    ilwml,
    i too have a similar story though it dint proceed till engagement..and even my DH never asked abt that alliance.I am very happy with DH and i couldnt have asked for better PILs..
     
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  9. sushmavja

    sushmavja Platinum IL'ite

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    lakshmi,
    please understand that your Ex has moved on and he has every right to do that as you have legally seperated.you too have started searching for alliances so with the same right isnt it?so why are you bothered about him, a person who never thought about you. please move on dear. its for your good only
     
  10. inlovewithmylyf

    inlovewithmylyf Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Sushma,

    Nice to know tht u too have a great DH n in-laws... Lets count our blessings and thank God for the same...
     
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