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Best Defence Against An Immature Mil

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Patientone, Aug 24, 2019.

  1. Patientone

    Patientone Senior IL'ite

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    Here are some of the things

    After me and hubby will fight she will flaunt her relationship with her husband in front of us.

    If me and hubby argue she will tend to him like he needs breastfeeding. She’ll give him tea (none for me no milk left for me)

    Make sure she gives me tea (in front of guests) in the maids cup to show she does all the work.

    Constantly boast about how many things my brother in laws wife brought with her after marriage. Upto the point it’s Sara’s cupboard, Sara’s washing machine, Sara’s dishrack....these items are named after Sara. Sara’s dressing table, Sara’s bed. Sara doesn’t even live there anymore.

    If I gift her something, straight away she’ll say she’ll give it to my sister in law.

    Goes through my purse without permission. Comments on each piece of underwear. Sits outside the bedroom door to listen to what me and my hubby talk about/do/marital relations.

    Talks to maid in another language gossiping about my mother and me. She thought I didn’t understand. But yeah I heard and understood everything.

    Can’t tell husband because he never listens or understands and she treats him like dirt.
     
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  2. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Honestly..

    This happens in most women’s house.
    Maybe situations differ a bit.

    The only reason I like being abroad is away from in-laws.Not that I hate them..but the problem is even unintentionally their actions hurt me.Also,as a daughter in law..it is tough for me to accept their taunts and sarcasms.If my mom teases me,am able to accept coz of course mom and in-law is different.

    Recently in my India trip..when I fell ill,she was not even bothered.Told me to take medicine and she went to sleep.

    Two days later..hubby got mild fever,she didn’t sleep the entire night!!!

    The above was a small,mild example.

    Also..anything I tell her she uses it against me.

    The BEST thing that works for me is..

    I try not to react,I don’t answer much,and whatever I say swallow the irritation and smile it off or nod as though I accepted BUT still at the end of the day do what I want.

    Saved me from headache arguments.It takes a lot of willpower,patience to behave that way but it saves our time and energy from arguments.

    Your in-laws seem very annoying and I totally understand.

    I don’t know if this answer helped but arguing with in-laws is nothing but futile.
     
    Vedhavalli and Sweety2019 like this.
  3. Patientone

    Patientone Senior IL'ite

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    Same here once I had a really really bad fever and couldn’t even get out of bed. Hubby told father in law to cut a chicken for me for some soup. MIL took it and gave it to me saying here make soup out of it... I was like OMG...

    I also hate how she massages Vicks on my husbands chest. He’s a fully grown adult...no boundaries at all. Everything is a game for her.
     
    Sweety2019 likes this.
  4. SunPa

    SunPa Platinum IL'ite

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    This is so gold. Do you give her something chat-patta to listen to ?
    Do add sound effects to enhance your "what me and my hubby do"

    Because she can make all the tea, rub all the vicks in the world on her sonny, but there are some pleasures that a mother cant give, you know.

    So did you get some condoms and put it in your purse for her inspection?
    And of course time to get hubby to get some sexy lingerie , so at the next underwear check, you can blush and tell her, her son only bought it and insists you wear it.

    She treats him like dirt too? Maybe it is time to point that out to him with the necessary pouting ( cue Bollywood) -
    "I know you are her son and she can talk to you in any way, but it pains me to see my dear husband being treated like he is worthless. If she says anything about me , that is ok , I can take it. But about you, that is so hard for me to even listen. "

    Oh God, If I had a MIL like yours , she will be venting out in some MIL's forum about her horrible DIL :laughing::laughing::kissingsmiling:
     
    Amica, Patientone, anika987 and 4 others like this.
  5. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    :clap2::cheer::roflmao:
     
  6. sunshine1970

    sunshine1970 Gold IL'ite

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    I am confused in post previous to this one you say you live somewhere else, not with MIL, but here you live with her. Can you clarify and then I can advice appropriately. If you MIL does not live with you you can ignore like over 60% of her behaviour.
     
  7. Patientone

    Patientone Senior IL'ite

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    We live in the UK and she lives in India. We’re going india to see her for 3 weeks. Last time she made my life hell.
     
  8. Patientone

    Patientone Senior IL'ite

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    Haha thanks for the laughs. But she is irritating. If I give her some chat patta to listen to she’d probably be excited herself and ask me in the morning what was all that noise in the room ( she asked me this once...how rude and shameless). I was like ‘ohh nothing’ and she said ‘ohh but I heard some noise’. This time I’ve told my hubby if he wants any intimacy it will only be when we are in a hotel. Once my husband gave me a hickey and she kept saying ‘omg a mosquito has bitten u so bad’ so I just laughed. But a few days later she said ohh has a mosquito bitten u on the cheek or has my son been kissing u (and my husband turned his face like omg what is she saying). I’ll try the bit about when she treats my husband like crap. But regardless he’d get so defensive and stick up for her.

    She makes me feel like she’s married to him. Like when we were leaving she hugged him chest to breast squeezing him and I had to walk out of the room.

    This time I feel like keeping everything a secret so she has nothing to talk about. If she saw condoms she’d backbite about how unnatural I am (not her son but just me the DIL). And I thought this was 2019. But ladies please keep advising me.

    The most I fear is if she says something bad about my 2 year old daughter or hits her. She constantly taunted me about dowry too when my husband wasnt home. And then when he did come home and spent time with me she used to cry. But after that life has been hell since we moved to the UK. He talks to her throughout the day and comes home in a bad mood and takes it out on me. We fought a lot and talked a lot about divorce. But after brief separation we realised we wanted to be together.
     
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2019

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