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Be A Wife ............ Not A Mother

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by diana, Mar 10, 2008.

  1. diana

    diana Bronze IL'ite

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    In mothering your husband, you end up believing that he is a child, and so that you can lay down the law. But you couldn't be more wrong. Face the truth you're not the only adult in your family.

    Why mothering your husband doesn't work

    In addition to making you the butt of unpleasant nagging wife jokes, mothering is a bad idea for other reasons too. Here's why:

    * Wives who mother their husbands often 'tell' them how to behave, as though they didn't know themselves. Frankly telling your husband what to do, when to do is akin to not appreciating that he has his own pace of working. It also signals a lack of respect for, and acceptance of your husband's point of view. Consider, would you like your husband to instruct you how to talk to his friends? Worse, how would you feel if your husband didn't respect you? Correcting each others behaviour as your mother used to do is a huge put off. Don't go down that road.

    * In mothering your partner, you send out a strong signal of being the dominating partner in your relationship. Now while a wife who takes the initiative in bed is a turn on, a wife who so closely resembles his mom isn't. After all, no man thinks of his mother as being sexually appealing! Evidently then, mothering your husband acts as a dampener to your sexual life. In fact, nothing can be worse than a wife who chides her husband for being overly passionate. Come on you're his lover, not his mother. It's you he is interested in, so why don't you respond?

    * This may be a scary thought, but if you constantly mother your husband, it may drive him away from you. This is how it works. Mothering him will only encourage him to see you as a mother figure. Now a mother is a parent, and as children grow, they learn not to lean on their parents. The parent figure sometimes becomes one to rebel against, but inevitably to grow out of as the child evolves into his or her own person. It may occur subconsciously, but your husband may also go the same way - away from you. Is that what you want?

    All said and done, it's really important for you to remember who you are - you're a wife, not a mother to your husband. So sit back and enjoy your life together a little more, as equals. He's your man, not your little boy! Don't forget that.

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  2. padmavathi m

    padmavathi m Silver IL'ite

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    dear diana,

    well said Bowdear, and very well written :exactly:, a wife should be a wife to her husband, value his feelings, respecting his views...........................no husband likes to be commanded, they like the problems to be discussed.............
  3. roopadadia

    roopadadia Silver IL'ite

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    We have this theory:

    When in bed...be a wife
    When bedridden...be a wife and mother as the circumstances calls for
    otherwise be friends...its easier to understand each other.


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