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Awful Awful Husband...why Do I Feel Like I Need Him?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Patientone, Oct 4, 2019.

  1. nemesis

    nemesis Platinum IL'ite

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    I bought a car. The seller had only positive words but for the ''don't take it to the hills''. It performed really well for a long time and one day out of curiosity took it to the hills and the radiator blew up resulting in the engine getting seized, the insurer declaring the car as total loss.

    Moral of the story (for NRIs) : If you want to save your marriage, don't visit India.
     
    kalcandu, Amica, Vaikuntha and 4 others like this.
  2. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

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    The worst reason to marry is out of pity or to change another person. One can only change his/herself which in turn may/may not change the other person.

    Finding a compatible partner for your future has nothing to do with being selfish. As marriage impacts not just your happiness & future but also your children. If you are unhappy, you cannot bring happiness to anyone around you.

    Altruism, also known as selflessness or even self-sacrifice, sounds like a good thing in a relationship. It’s comforting to know that your partner would do anything to protect or help you, and you would do the same for him or her.

    The happiest and most enjoyable marriages are ones in which both spouses feel that their concerns, desires and needs are met and valued. You and your spouse should feel that each of you has power and significance in the marriage. Altruistic behavior denies that importance. Over time, constantly suppressing your desires and needs for those of your spouse can lead to a disorder of power in the relationship, which, even if voluntary, can lead to depression and resentment.
     
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  3. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    A lesson here for future car buyers: Do your homework and save enough money to buy a good Jeep or truck that can navigate the turns and the height of the hills without breaking down.


     
  4. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    : ) It is often not the car, but the driver, who turns into a different person around his parents and siblings.

    OP, please forgive us these little detours we are taking in your thread with marriage vehicles. : )
     
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  5. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Going by the car analogy, there are some lemons even in Range Rovers and many wonderful Harriers. How to pick one without defects?
     
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  6. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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  7. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

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    Depends on how much he loves his daughter. In all this conflict is a child who will lose her dad.
     
  8. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    He doesn't seem to love his kid
     
  9. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Test drive

     
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  10. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Women and Men need to think about what kind of person they are exposing their young kids to. The kind of man who takes a picture of his wife's undesired body issues and sends it to his Mom? That's the father figure we are talking about here.
    OP should think about if her daughter's developing body image, self esteem, respect and other things. I've never seen a man who is absolutely disrespectful to his wife being a good father and vice versa. In the good parent hand book, rule #1 is that the parent respects the other parent.
     
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2019

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