Assumptions And Expectations

jskls · Apr 26, 2018

She was expected to be Quiet, well mannered , more matured for her age, soft-spoken, never faltering, being kind and gentle always. On the contrary life always presented her with challenges that was way too much to handle. Never could she speak her mind, raise her voice or could tell the ones who assume and offer free advice to stop. It was getting too much to handle. Her surroundings just had lots of assumptions with their limited understanding

As she slowly started coming out of her shell the comments that followed never seemed to stop. oh you were so quiet … you were so timid … you had very less friends.. Never thought you could do this or that … and someone even assumed that she was much older. She got tired of all the forced expectations and assumptions .

There were a limited few who would come forward to appreciate, motivate and encourage her. A few made her realize she is capable of trying even more. A little encouragement would glisten her eyes. And those few were never her regular buddies. Whenever she forgets her worth, those few lifted her up and reminded her all that she did that they could never try. They stand by her even today offering support with a smile sometimes invisibly too.

One day she against her near and dear’s wish tried an extreme sport! (those who knew can keep it to oneself). And the comments followed .. Never knew you were daring! Did you really do it? Surprised to see your adventurous side … you don’t look courageous but how did you survive? How is it that you are scared of little things but brave enough for this ? and so on …

And now who is to blame here? The one who has assumptions or the one who tries to break all the barriers? One who has expectations or one who never meet their expectations (not professionally)? One who has created a wrong mental image or one who presents their true self. Or is it the Life events that prevented so many interests in the growing mind or the life experiences that gave another chance to explore more?

Whatever it is she decides to walk her path it’s one life after all. She is bound to make mistakes but would continue learning her lessons along the way. Just those few buddies are enough to keep her going without giving importance to other’s expectations or assumptions. Never expect or assume. Both hurt!

jayasala42 · Apr 26, 2018

Many of us have been brought up with elderly advices of not hurting others, be patient etc etc.As the proverb in Tamil says'Saadhu mirandall kaadu kollaathu"( If a saadhu comes out of his shield, he would be raging like forest fire, unable to control).

On many occasions our silence is misconstrued as weakness.It is better to express our views ,though opposite, then and there.

Jayasala42

ratan · Apr 26, 2018

Very true. As we endure more, or keep silence, expectations increase more n more.I think , our endurance & silence reinforces their expectations and habbits of hurting. I love your words" Its one life after all" Need to forward one step. God always help those, who help themselves.

sindmani · Apr 26, 2018

jskls said: ↑

She was expected to be Quiet, well mannered , more matured for her age, soft-spoken, never faltering, being kind and gentle always. On the contrary life always presented her with challenges that was way too much to handle. Never could she speak her mind, raise her voice or could tell the ones who assume and offer free advice to stop. It was getting too much to handle. Her surroundings just had lots of assumptions with their limited understanding

As she slowly started coming out of her shell the comments that followed never seemed to stop. oh you were so quiet … you were so timid … you had very less friends.. Never thought you could do this or that … and someone even assumed that she was much older. She got tired of all the forced expectations and assumptions .

There were a limited few who would come forward to appreciate, motivate and encourage her. A few made her realize she is capable of trying even more. A little encouragement would glisten her eyes. And those few were never her regular buddies. Whenever she forgets her worth, those few lifted her up and reminded her all that she did that they could never try. They stand by her even today offering support with a smile sometimes invisibly too.

One day she against her near and dear’s wish tried an extreme sport! (those who knew can keep it to oneself). And the comments followed .. Never knew you were daring! Did you really do it? Surprised to see your adventurous side … you don’t look courageous but how did you survive? How is it that you are scared of little things but brave enough for this ? and so on …

And now who is to blame here? The one who has assumptions or the one who tries to break all the barriers? One who has expectations or one who never meet their expectations (not professionally)? One who has created a wrong mental image or one who presents their true self. Or is it the Life events that prevented so many interests in the growing mind or the life experiences that gave another chance to explore more?

Whatever it is she decides to walk her path it’s one life after all. She is bound to make mistakes but would continue learning her lessons along the way. Just those few buddies are enough to keep her going without giving importance to other’s expectations or assumptions. Never expect or assume. Both hurt!
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Iam thankful to you for this post. All this is happening in my life . Iam really surprised seeing the post and this thread is my motivation.

GeetaKashyap · Apr 26, 2018

jskls said: ↑

Whatever it is she decides to walk her path it’s one life after all. She is bound to make mistakes but would continue learning her lessons along the way. Just those few buddies are enough to keep her going without giving importance to other’s expectations or assumptions. Never expect or assume. Both hurt!
Click to expand...

@jskls, Agree totally. It is not easy to please everyone, at least a part of our life has to be lived as per our wishes and beliefs. Kuchh toh log kahenge...

Shanvy · Apr 26, 2018

@jskls go girl!!! good that she did it..

shows them she does not want be pegged..

The most interesting people do not fit in your preset cardboard boxes, they make their own box their own way..

people let their imaginations fly in assumptions about people around and expectations lets leave it at that..

p.s the title reminded me of a blog from long long ago..
Appearances and our assumptions..

and i am sure knowing you, you will like the story there

kaniths · Apr 26, 2018

jskls said: ↑

she decides to walk her path it’s one life after all. She is bound to make mistakes but would continue learning her lessons along the way.
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I'm proud of y.. ahem cough.. her.. I'm proud of her!

As they say, DO (Epic Sh)IT!

Star25 · Apr 26, 2018

jskls said: ↑

She was expected to be Quiet, well mannered , more matured for her age, soft-spoken, never faltering, being kind and gentle always. On the contrary life always presented her with challenges that was way too much to handle. Never could she speak her mind, raise her voice or could tell the ones who assume and offer free advice to stop. It was getting too much to handle. Her surroundings just had lots of assumptions with their limited understanding

As she slowly started coming out of her shell the comments that followed never seemed to stop. oh you were so quiet … you were so timid … you had very less friends.. Never thought you could do this or that … and someone even assumed that she was much older. She got tired of all the forced expectations and assumptions .

There were a limited few who would come forward to appreciate, motivate and encourage her. A few made her realize she is capable of trying even more. A little encouragement would glisten her eyes. And those few were never her regular buddies. Whenever she forgets her worth, those few lifted her up and reminded her all that she did that they could never try. They stand by her even today offering support with a smile sometimes invisibly too.

One day she against her near and dear’s wish tried an extreme sport! (those who knew can keep it to oneself). And the comments followed .. Never knew you were daring! Did you really do it? Surprised to see your adventurous side … you don’t look courageous but how did you survive? How is it that you are scared of little things but brave enough for this ? and so on …

And now who is to blame here? The one who has assumptions or the one who tries to break all the barriers? One who has expectations or one who never meet their expectations (not professionally)? One who has created a wrong mental image or one who presents their true self. Or is it the Life events that prevented so many interests in the growing mind or the life experiences that gave another chance to explore more?

Whatever it is she decides to walk her path it’s one life after all. She is bound to make mistakes but would continue learning her lessons along the way. Just those few buddies are enough to keep her going without giving importance to other’s expectations or assumptions. Never expect or assume. Both hurt!
Click to expand...

Wow .. After reading, felt as if you have written it for me or keeping me in my mind bcoz 90% of what you have said is happening in my life. Lots of mis assumptions from others , talking at the bk n all ..my life is giving me more challenges that I am really finding it hard to solve with no one to support me .. I m jus living my life with full trust in god and taking one day at a time not thinking if the past or future.. and living my way not caring to others comments.. The last para in your write up gives the answer to all.. loved reading it.

Amica · Apr 28, 2018

You are my hero, Lakshmi. I need to borrow a cup of courage from you.

periamma · Apr 28, 2018

In Tamil there is a saying"VAAISOLLIL VEERARADI"means boldness seen in their words and not in their activities.Just ignore them and have to move forward.we are the masters of our mind and do what our mind commands.My appreciation to that brave girl

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Assumptions And Expectations

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Assumptions

Appearances and our assumptions..

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