Annoyed with parents

T
hanks for stopping by, Ragini! Well, I try not to expect anything but afterall I am a human and need some emotional support sometime.

 

Thanks swt.Charu. Yes, you are right. My sister is going through a rough time. Good thing is- my BIL has a very good job (I am not sure what he makes but it is well above 1 lac/month) and hid parents get good pension (live with them). Hopefully, they will come out of this mess. I didn't loan the money, my husband and I gave this amount. I paid my niece's tuition last year as well but I didn't know about their debt (no body did). It's not about money, just few words of comfort. My mom didn't even ask me- how are we going to manage or what is plan B for us. Not even a single mention. That's what hurt me.

 

Thank you, MalStrom. Yes, finally we both have TT positions. It was hard to find two positions at one place in similar areas.
No, my mom is not feeling awkward. My dad is very fair in transactions but my mom is not. I learned it hard way. I used to give my mom money to put in my FDs or in my nephew's name whose schooling I am supporting but she will spend the money on things like bedsheets, sofa covers or what not. So, I started giving money directly to my dad. When I go to India, she used to "buy" me gold jewelry that I really don't care for and will pay her money because I don't want to take their savings. Then, she will tell all the neighbors and my sisters about what she bought for me. I had to talk to her in front of my sisters to stop "buying" me this stuff because I don't want to pay for stuff that I don't even wear. I wanted to make sure that my sisters won't feel like I take all of parent's money on these annual India trips. She was acting the same way- Oh, we did this and that for your sister while I am the one who came forward to help. At least I wasn't the right audience for her show off. I am sorry, I am just pissed. May be sleep deprived (possible with a 4 month old ) and nervous about the next step.

 

Thank you so much for understanding! I know my sister will be too embarrassed to ask for help from us. We paid my niece's tuition last year and she knows we've to come up with money for the house and also that I quit my current job to spend time with my little one who is 4 months old. I'd rather let my mom all the credit and stay behind the scene. I love the kids and for me their education is very important. I am not even counting on getting any money back. If they give it- great, if not, I'd think it was money well spent.

 

Thank you for the kind words! It means a lot!

 

Thanks Rihana! I agree with you.

 

Hi Minion, Thanks for stopping by. I guess we are quite old-fashioned. We don't want to keep debt. Yes, we can get PMI (actually we've to now as we can only put 15% down to have money for closing costs and emergencies) but we'd rather avoid it. Our current house will be paid off in 3.5 years (total 6 years instead of 15 yr loan). We save in retirement and 529 college funds. We're not risk takers when it comes to finances.

 

Salaswathi- I am not upset about helping my sister or keeping money with my parents. I keep some amount in India so my parents can use it for air tickets when they come visit me. I was upset that not even once my mom asked my about our situation. No. not every body makes tons of money in the US.

 

Thanks for understanding, Preethiitech. Sometimes, daily grind of our lives is so tiring that all we want is- few nice words. May be, I finally feeling the postpartum . I'll try to not expect anything esp from my mom.

 

Thank you all for taking time to read and leave comments and suggestions. Much appreciated. I'm still feeling little low but I am sure I'll cheer up.