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Am Married, Other Guy Likes Me A Lot,please Help!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Belovedsister, Jan 12, 2017.

  1. Belovedsister

    Belovedsister Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi dear members,

    Am happily married and hav a daughter of 4yrs old. i love my husband a lot and he too.
    just 1 month back some one texted me that i am adorable an angel and i look like queen when i asked who is that he took big promises not to reveal his name and he told me his name. He is the unmarried guy lives in my inlaws street but i have rarely seen him and i have never met him. I am a reserved kind of girl, i hold my morale with high esteem.

    He told all this to me:
    He told me that he likes me a lot from past many years when i came to my inlaws house after marriage and he saw me for the first time and he fell in love with me, he didnt know am married that time and the same day he came to know that am married. After that for past 6 yrs he has feelings towards me, he cant control himself when sees me, his heartbeat increases a lot, he tells that am the queen of his heart and he loves me a lot and also respects me a lot. and he tells he never hav bad intentions on me. he told he understands that am married but is begging me to chat with him atleast say hi bye everyday and he literally cried when i said no. he said keep me as your dog, treat me as your slave but please keep in touch with me you are very special to me n all... To be frank i dont have any feelings on him am a religious women and i know my boundaries. but i felt pity on him and started chatting just normal talks. later on he told me that i comes in his dreams many times and he does romance n all other things with me. i felt very bad after hearing this and i told him that i felt bad and i cant chat with you.He said i dont have bad intentions but i dont know why i get dreams like this. then i stopped talking/texting with him, for that he messaged that he is not having food and is feeling giddyness because i didnt text, and i mean a lot to him and all.. He is having girl friends and he has slept with many he only told me. He said dont hav lust on but i swear on God my heart loves you a lot and all.And he also knows that am a religious kind of girl and he cant get anything from me still he is asking just to chat with him and he wil be happy. while texting normally he tells some romantic thing and asks for kiss and when i get angry he asks sorry i wont repeat after some days he again tells something like that.But he even tells that even if i allow him to kiss he will not kiss me because he respects me a lot and he thinks he is not capable to even kiss me. I have never met him, Now he is insisting me to meet him and he says he doesnt hav any bad intensions he just wants to meet me if i have doubt he tells to come and meet in Temple.

    I dont want to ruin my married life..whenever i take step to avoid him he keeps his head on my feet , he talks like that..some times his words touches me after all am also a human being.. iam in complete confusion now what to do? Is it ok keep texting with him? or creates problem in my life? what should i do? Am very much tensed..
    Please help me friends:pensive:
     
    Madhumagie likes this.
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  2. bravo1809

    bravo1809 Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi OP

    Please don't respond to him and also tell your husband asap. I am guessing you are atleast 27. I am not so good with words. It's all rubbish. Why did he discuss sleeping with gf's with you? You are saying you barely know him. So all this is through messages? You have a beautiful life. Sometimes even there is no mistake of yours you might end up getting blamed. Do you need all this? Please stop this now (as in right now). Just ignore him and concentrate on your life.
     
    sindmani, chillis, nakshatra1 and 3 others like this.
  3. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    You are not kidding right?you are a married woman who has a 4 year old gal.

    This guy who says things like"didn't have food"," treat me like a slave and dog","has slept with many and has gfs"" didn't eat food" seems to gain pity from you???

    To top it,he has no lust it seems.BS.

    Seriously,all this is the stupid effect too much movie watching and expecting romance like in movies.Few golden words and we turn weak.

    Probably,your married life might have gotten comfortable,life needs more spice and your mind stopped thinking and heart is yearning BUT CUT IT OUT!!!!

    Going to be very blunt,but if you let this go..you talk to him,don't expect this to stay with just talks.The guy will completely make you fall for him coz you are already vulnerable,take advantage of your weakness and make you sleep with him.He is NOT going to be with you FOREVER and give you EVERLASTING LOVE.you will be devastated and lose yourself,your self esteem and hate yourself for ever and your life will be in shambles.

    Yes that's the blatant truth and do you want that??so stop feeling pity,tell your husband or someone or cut it out in prime itself.This thought process is no good.

    There is no help here.Only you can help yourself and the above is the TRUTH.now don't say we did not warned you.

    However,if you choose to play with fire,you will burn only yourself and destroy yourself and your family in the process.
     
    nakshatra1, bron, Madhumagie and 12 others like this.
  4. divshiri87

    divshiri87 Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Op,
    As others suggested its better to cut all the connections with him. you have happy life, why do you want to spoil for a person who you even don't know. Don't think of him. He is using all dramatic words. How can a person have feelings on a woman when he knows that she is happily married?
    In the beginning he asked you to just say hi and bye and later he started using romantic words and now he is expecting to meet u directly. And if you meet him just for his sake, he may expect something again from you. Why do you want to invite problems in ur life? Better share this with your DH and cut that guys friendship. He shared his personal things with you which is not even required for you to know. Dont feel pity on him. If you feel pity on him, you may need to feel pity on ur life later. Tell him that you dont want to talk to him and if he is doing too much take your DH help in resolving. Dear, dont get trapped.
     
  5. SRK123

    SRK123 Silver IL'ite

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    Oh my God !! I know this type of guys.. You have no idea how dangerous they can be.. I can bet that he targeted you.. He may start blackmailing you by showing chat s to husband or whatever. my suggestion is just stop this drama right away and tell your husband about it immediately.. because his plan is to first try and pursuade you for his evil motives and then later he may even keep some proofs to blackmail you.. your chat transcripts can also be used to blackmail you (if you dont do what he says).. STOP this now before it burns your life... Trust me.
     
  6. SRK123

    SRK123 Silver IL'ite

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    And never ever think that he loves you.. There is no chance that he loves you.. No love here. This is a trap.. He is very good at manipulating girls.. many girls fall for this category.. dont be one of them..
     
  7. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Is this for real?!?!

    If it is, here's what you do - you ought to have done this the second this nonsense started.
    1. Block his number.
    2. Ignore him completely.
    3. Tell your husband before the other guy makes mischief as a revenge.

    Whether he eats or lives isn't your problem. "Being there" for him will pull you deeper into this and won't cause you any good.
     
  8. KashmirFlower

    KashmirFlower IL Hall of Fame

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    first he asked to say hi & Bye in chat, later he said you come in dreams and romance happens there, and he said about his girl friends and the romances happened with them, later he said he will not kiss you even if you allow him to do (not ask him to do) , now he wants meet you in temple, next where would he wants to meet you? can you guess it?

    If you only chatted hi and bye how come he chatted/talked this much? With a kid and home to take care of, how can you get that much time and mind space for this? Please use your time for betterment of your life. If you keep doing what he says you to do, you will become his slave not the other way around.
     
  9. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Op...the only reason I won't call you a troll is that you have 85 posts on this forum.
    Lets be frank because if you are for real...then you just screwed your happy married life for some cheap thrills.
    No you don't .You have already crossed the boundaries by indulging in this relationship.
    You talk to him because you like the **** that he talks,the attention he gives you.This is a form of cheating .
    May be you are missing something in your married life ...but this is not the way to deal with it.

    The guy has got your messages...he has got the power o spoil your life.
    1)stop taking his calls.block his number.
    2)tell your husband and hope he believes you.

    Every message you take,every call you take is increasing evidence against you.
    Please do not meet him......you will have no excuse too explain that.
     
  10. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Block his number. That is as simple as that.
    If you want a happy married life, simply block his number. This one is trouble. He will eventually start to blackmail you tocome meet him, else he will show the messages to your husband. How will you explain your family when they see their "religious" wife/daughter in law allowing a man to talk with her even when she knows that he is making unwanted (??) advances.
     

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