Am I Thinking Right Or Too Much?

Dear Friend,

Seriously more than his Instagram stuff, the Divorce looks fishy. If his wife had filed divorce initially, then what is taking him 4 years to finish it? If he wants to put an end (Assuming his wife had demanded for money), he must have settled it right away and given the divorce.

Taking the other point that he travels around(though officially), makes me feel that he is financially sound.

I know its your personal, but if I may ask, why are you going for a divorcee? I wouldn't suggest going for a guy that too divorcee through some Social networking sites.

If you and he are in good contact, like daily you both talk, communicate well, then ask him directly but politely about his Instagram pages.Just ask him in a surprised way, "I am surprised to see that you like kids stuff" !? so end it with a question mark, see his reply.
I would suggest, not to go by his Instagram, but if you know any friends of his or through some other people you may try to learn more about him.

Good luck dear. It's your life.
You live it once, so think not just twice but wise.

 

Dear no life... First of all, change your ID. Nolife sounds too negative as your thought process!

You are a divorcee. So what? There is no rule that divorcees can't get married to the second time. It will happen at the right time. Do the search diligently, but with a pinch of salt. Take your marital experience as a plus. So, you won't fall prey to anyone the second time.
But, what I see from this, as well as your other posts is, you seem too desperate for a relationship now. Which is fine. But your weakness is to show it outside.
Just like me/us in this forum, your FB friend and anyone in that matter could judge you easily. The moment they know your weakness, they will start to play with your life. Don't let your life be a toy at someone's hand.

I highly doubt your FB friend's divorce matter. Don't hurry up now. Let him take the divorce and come clean as you are.
After that, if you both feel compatible, then decide your marriage.
A man hurries for a relationship while his divorce case is still pending itself a red flag for me. He can't sail in 2 boats. Let him clear his baggage to start a new relationship.
His kids, wife, wife's boy friend etc...shouldn't matter to you now.

Don't stalk too much into instagram stuff.
It doesn't reveal the real life of anyone. I've liked a few burqa stores from Turkey too. Not because I love wearing a burqa. But i've done a few shopping there with my Jordanian friends, and bought a few beautiful shawls.
I did not like that shop for this. But when I see the name in my FB or instagram wall, it brought back those beautiful memories of my travel to Turkey back then. So, I liked.
Clicking a like in a social media means just nothing to me. Don't over interpret this.

 

If you are earning well how about taking service of private detective?
Or how about your parents doing some inquiry through relatives and friends.
If guy is living in same city you will get some connection.

 

If you are earning well how about taking service of private detective?
Or how about your parents doing some inquiry through relatives and friends.
If guy is living in same city you will get some connection.

 

Hello Ms OP
Read your story . Several information are required for better understanding of the case. Are you personally so scrutinizing in everything , or you being little extra cautious than normal as it is going to be most important decision making in your life.

If you have a habitual investigative mind, you are not doing anything abnormal by thinking the things that you have narrated in the post about your potential match. But when technology and social media have pervaded our normal private lives, in such a big way, that even the grand nannies are texting, young boys and girls hacking profiles, people are giving "missed calls" your choice and ways of choosing partners and checking of his antecedents are bound to be technology based. You are going to accept a divorcee provided the verification report is satisfactory .

But you have given your reason for the choice,

If the choice , reason behind choice and verification through tracking FB account, invading into instagram etc. the inevitable thing are happening. If you see , through confidential means, someone is fond of porno , will you discard? Or, those who do not watch porno, are divine characters? If he sees kids-ware sites , what do you infer from that? Can't he see things for future? Dream about that? I am fond of cooking videos. But, I am neither foody nor enter kitchen. Have you tried to know, why his marriage is coming to end?

In my opinion, it is not the best way to take the biggest decisions of life. A human interaction can open human minds. And everyone has his/her most intimate private fancies. One should not be judging persons by that. Every person has a streak of private lunacy. That much space is required to enable one to recharge his/her batteries.

From the narration, which is a pure one-sided story, no clean-chit can be issued either about the man or the way you are tracking and subsequently making conclusions.

 

Good morning and thank you for the admission. In the very first place, let me put my apology and intimate my inhibitions about speaking on private issues like this. But, as it is meant to dissect an issue which might be of relevance to any of the readers in any manner, direct, indirect or remote, I am putting my words in the hope, it will not be misconstrued.

Well, as you already had faced a jolt in life, the mindset, that you have now is reasonable. But as you have the whole adult life ahead of you, you need to come terms with life. Too much doubting may not help you in any way.

Quite reasonable and sporting. But, I am not sure, whether Facebook or other social media, can help you in a meaningful constructive manner. The inputs in virtual world cannot be cooked for food for real world. You friends and acquaintances and relatives or other trusted people can help you lot better. Leave this bogus world of Facebook except for some urgent communication with your real world friend.

Wish you all happiness in life. Good luck.

 

I can appreciate your frame of mind. Whether divorcee or not this is a big decision. While his social media profile may be strange and flirtatious with matters like this what works the best is a little bit of time to know each other. In my experience, sneaking around someone only raises more issues. It is best you confront him and try to learn what/ who he is. Is he someone suitable for you at a social and emotional level? As you said you are financially independent so that is not the issue....two cents...if you think you are always going to doubt him...you are not ready to tie the know with anyone...so I say...time will be your trusted friend here.