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Am I Not Smart? Or I'm Too Good

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by Vedhavalli, Apr 11, 2017.

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  1. Apr 11, 2017 #11
    Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    Ok the lesson @iamsrihere ...
    You're right I should have told drop her my home.. here after would never attend that lady even if I'm really free... I was annoyed...
    My Dh told if again she calls you for emergency ask her to call 911 and you are not at home.
     
    Vedhavalli, Apr 11, 2017
    Vedhavalli, Apr 11, 2017
    #11
    iamsrihere likes this.
  2. Apr 11, 2017 #12
    DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    OP, learn to say NO when your mind says NO.
    Even when you feels like saying NO, you are trying to say YES that is your issue. I guess.
    I would have told her straight that I was doing some cooking or busy with something,.. and this way of calling for emergency made me panic that is why I ran to her place. I will express my irritation like may be in nice way like.with a smile. please don't do it again if it is not 'emergency'. Or she should have called you and dropped her kids in your home instead of making you worry. Somehow you gave her the impression that she can use you whenever she wanted.

    Next time you directly say.. sorry I cant come as I am outside/busy or dont attend the phone and later leave a message like you were in bath room/didnt hear phone ring/ it was on silent more .etc. If you feel she needs some help, help her, but it should come from your mind. After all we are human beings.
     
    DDream, Apr 11, 2017
    DDream, Apr 11, 2017
    #12
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  3. Apr 12, 2017 #13
    dimhere

    dimhere Gold IL'ite

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    Why do you feel the need to respond? Ignore! Ignore big time. Put your phone on silent for ALL 15 calls. Text once later, that you "Cd nt come 2 phn". Yes, using short forms. NO other reason necessary.

    Be very very curt and don't smile if you meet her in potlucks or outside. Eliminate all time spent in her house. If she asks, tell her ONCE you have a new passion - cooking, baking, knitting, dancing, counting your own hair, Whatever!!
    And that it is taking up all your time, effort and passion now, and you are always researching it online. Any time she asks for something, use the SAME reason.

    She should clearly know that you are trying to cut her out of your life. Stay far away from such fools out to exploit your goodness.

    In future, learn to recognize such leeches at the outset before falling in deep.
     
    dimhere, Apr 12, 2017
    dimhere, Apr 12, 2017
    #13
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  4. Apr 12, 2017 #14
    Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    [​IMG] I'm going to use this every chance I get.
    .​
     
    Amica, Apr 12, 2017
    Amica, Apr 12, 2017
    #14
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  5. Apr 12, 2017 #15
    Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    Correct, I should tell straight away...Knowing her traits.... Here after I won't pick call..I'm no emergency response team member of my apt
     
    Vedhavalli, Apr 12, 2017
    Vedhavalli, Apr 12, 2017
    #15
  6. Apr 12, 2017 #16
    Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    Have to recognize such people...
    The issue is she knows my routine when my DH n kid go to school, when the come back..I never had this issue when I was in India as I was working...Now on H4 SHAM..
     
    Vedhavalli, Apr 12, 2017
    Vedhavalli, Apr 12, 2017
    #16
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  7. Apr 12, 2017 #17
    Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    next time when she calls me, I will read all these replies and send her a msg after 2 days what's up, what emergency now?
     
    Vedhavalli, Apr 12, 2017
    Vedhavalli, Apr 12, 2017
    #17
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  8. Apr 12, 2017 #18
    butterflyice

    butterflyice Local Champion Staff Member Platinum IL'ite

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    Your neighbour does not have the right to know your family's schedule. When you find her behaviour intolerable, say it out. You could say, I am not comfortable with you following my family around. Its annoying. She might not heed your words, but keep at it. Everytime she does something despicable, voice out what she did and how you did not like it.

    If you are not upto it, cut her from your life. Do not speak to her on the phone and maintain a stodgy silence when you meet on common grounds.
     
    butterflyice, Apr 12, 2017
    butterflyice, Apr 12, 2017
    #18
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  9. Apr 12, 2017 #19
    dc24

    dc24 Gold IL'ite

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    dc24, Apr 12, 2017
    dc24, Apr 12, 2017
    #19
  10. Apr 12, 2017 #20
    deepthyanoop

    deepthyanoop Gold IL'ite

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    Oh dear, you are such a nice person. The real problem here is you don't want to say no if the other person is really in need of some help. But that lady here is being selfish and literally exploiting your niceness. You mentioned she wont be attending your child even for 10 minutes, when you need it. Then how can she expect that from you. Learn to say NO dear, thats important.Trust me, it will be difficult only at the beginning. Your husbands suggestion is a good one. Tell her to call 911 if she really is in need of emergency help.
     
    deepthyanoop, Apr 12, 2017
    deepthyanoop, Apr 12, 2017
    #20
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