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All about phone calling ILs

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by anugamit, Jan 14, 2012.

  1. anugamit

    anugamit Platinum IL'ite

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    :hiya all,

    A thought struck in my mind so let me ask you all. How many of your Co-sis, SIL, other inlaws call you if you are leaving separate, abroad or while going to your parents house. I know the chances are very less but i may find someone here :iagree. Let me not include MIL here bcoz thats a duty of only DIL to call her. :exactly: If anyone have anything new about MIL surely can share.

    Also please share if only you have to call them.... i mean they never bother and DH insist you to call them.

    Also is it compulsory for a DIL to call MIL's sis???
     
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  2. polymorphic

    polymorphic Platinum IL'ite

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    If your DH insists you on calling his mom you insist on calling yours or better still - IGNORE!! But yes, you can call if they are really sweet. But co-sis, SIL and other ppl of your generation you dont have to. JMO.
     
  3. sheztheone

    sheztheone Platinum IL'ite

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    I call my PILs regularly, though DH could care less even if I spoke to them once in a year. I do it because I want to maintain a cordial relationship with them, and frankly, to also avoid any accusations in future like "She never calls," etc (though this is secondary). I also like to check on them at regular intervals to find out if they are keeping well, doing fine with finances etc. Communication in my DH's family is almost nil, and no one mentions anything unless you ask them. I am always concerned if they need money etc. and hence make it a point to call.

    If I have not called for say a week/ten days, MIL either emails me or messages me when I happen to be online to ask how we are doing.

    I have 2 BILs, one of whom is married. The single BIL chats with us like once in 2-3 months. The other BIL and cosis do not bother. If at all they want to contact us, it will be only to DH and not me. God knows why, though. I have stopped bothering now though I used to go out of my way to keep in touch earlier.

    Like the PP said, I think that you need not go out of your way to keep in touch with anyone other than PILs (inc GPILs), unless you share a very good rapport and mutually wish to keep in touch. Even wrt PILs, opinions might differ from person to person and relationship to relationship
     
  4. sweetestshweta

    sweetestshweta Gold IL'ite

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    We are living separate(for name sake).. MIL is here for most of the year and SIL too spends every possible day with us.
    As far as calling is concerned,I have to call everyone.
    MIL,if I dont call,will call my DH and tell him to instruct me to call her..
    SIL hasnt called me even once till date except on my birthday and that too at 11 in the night..
    I found all this weird in beginning and I used to complain to my DH-it seemed to be a pure ego issue from their side I felt but he could not do anything about it.
    As a result,I didnt call my SIL for 2 months and she created big issue out of it-crying and telling BIL,co sis,MIL,DH etc aboutit and finally I had to start caling again.MIL,as a rule I have to call..
    Only my co sis calls me and I too call her-so its mutual.
    T tried telling my DH but I understand his problem too-he cannot do a thing about it so I have stopped telling him.
    Now I call MIL and SIL everytime keeping my self respect aside just to make my DH happy.
    SIL tries to create a rift by even misquoting my telephonic conversation and creates issue time to time so I am trying to keep it minimal.She created a big drama last week too..:drowning
    I never had a clue earlier that even a mechanism meant to keep each other in contact could be an instrument of huge ego boosting..:bonk
     
  5. deepa10

    deepa10 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi,

    My case is a bit different. We live separate for our work reasons. We(me and my DH) talk one or two times a day to PIL's. Usually in the morning and once at night. I used to call once i start to office to talk to MIL. At night she will call me/DH and we will talk for 10 mins. At times when she is really tried she will talk to either one of us at night and sleep. Usually we talk to my FIL also at night. During weekends mostly they will call if we dont call them till noon or evening. My PIL's are so sweet and they talk so nicely and high about me to others. For occasions like B'day, they will call and wish me and I used to call them for their B'days.

    Also, they will call me and remind me to wish any of my in-law side relative on their b'days, anniversaries.. They are so thoughtful and I am very luck to have them as in-laws. They will never interfere in our finances and she will help me if she comes here and when we visit them she hardly gives me any work.

    Regarding SIL, we are living close and she calls me very often. We have a very good relationship. She will even call me and inform if she goes out wit her husband and tells me when she will be back. I am very happy with both my PIL's and SIL. I don't have a co-sis!! I am happy that I am the only DIL for my DH family; they treat me so well and I have no competition :)
     
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  6. sheztheone

    sheztheone Platinum IL'ite

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    :rotflLOL!
     
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  7. mybaby1

    mybaby1 Gold IL'ite

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    i am married for just 1.5 yrs now and in this period i went to my mom place once for about 15 days and in that time my MIL allways used to call me.She is really nice and caring too but yes sometimes just get influenced by my cunning SIL.
    I dont think so that it is the duty of DIL only to call allwaz..any relation it could be its two way traffic..
     
  8. mybaby1

    mybaby1 Gold IL'ite

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    My H is also only son and offcourse i am the only DIL i agree with you that we dont have any competition but here, we have all the duties and responsibilities.We are supposed to call them every week as we are staying abroad and then they will talk for hours if we dont they just give missed calls wont call ever., get them things from here,want us to visit them every 2-3 months, call SILs seperately, get them gifts everytime,They allways want to know what we are doing ,what are we eating, where are we going, whom are we meeting , how the business is going on.. etc especially my SILelder one..she want to know everything directly or indirectly.. she tries to be so commanding..she just wants to dominate..
    It feels like even living away i am with them all the time, other than holidays also they will keep on calling and eating the time i have with my H when he is back from work & offcourse that emotional drama of MIL and SILs,,, ..uuufffffffff..fed up
     
  9. anugamit

    anugamit Platinum IL'ite

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    WOW deepa...u really have nice ILs....calling should be from both sides only then we will have feeling of calling them regularly, even SILs and CoSis.
     
  10. sirisyam

    sirisyam Silver IL'ite

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    my ils will never ever call even mh Dh.(leave out me, even i wont call them, i am fed up and left all those)

    but they will give a missed call(never more than 2 rings) just before 5-10 days before we travel to india. when my DH calls back both his elder brothers will ORDER a list of gifts(only expensive).

    And after that never. my DH calls them often, especially on ocassions, birthdays and anniversaries its a must
     

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