Advice Needed To Prepare Myself

Hi All ,

Hope you all are doing good . Thank you so much for all the wonderful advices during my last interaction with you all.
I am here for a new 'might happen in the future' - problem .
My ils are apparently putting pressure on H to send me to india for ttc treatments . They want him to send me over in a month or a two to india saying that they would get me treated in india . Also because here we might have to go down the ivf route with no insurance coverage , h looks like is also inclining towards their suggestion because of low cost. I do not want to go back on the pretext of treatments because i am sure the entire cost would fall on my parent . And the added mental trauma is something that I can not imagine going through again. H has not forcibly telling me this but he did mention it casually as if testing waters . I told him that i cant do it , I am ready to spend whatever i make completely into this effort but not going to india for this as i cant imagine ttc being there at their home.Should this topic come again seriously , I am looking for some advice like how to put across my point in a stern but non conflicting manner without directly saying that i dont want to go because of ils and h and what happened last time . Also I do not want to lose my job as I am close to making progress on the job front.
Thank you all for your awesome help through out .

 

thank you rihana for your reply . what you said is right because i feel that he has never believed me over his parents . if ils talk something bad behind my back its true but if i clarify my side of the story its false .so he will only see the good intentions of ils and my reluctance will be blamed. i will respond in calm manner and will try my best to not dig the past . thank you very much .

 

yes i know quite a few people who have been to india for treatment and had conceived because its too costly here .
had it not been for the past bad experiences i too would have gone down that route without any second thoughts but in the current scenario i feel too down to go their and face everything again . i simply cant muster the courage at this time and hence am worried about tackling this situation which will come for sure. thank you so much for taking time out to reply.

 

thank you poovai for the reply . going to ivf because of the cost and success is a very good thought , no doubts in that. but i dont think it would work in my case because of all the drama thats going to be associated with it . if i do go there because i too want kids , what if first ivf fails , what if it takes more than one cycles , i feel i would be stuck it would get terrible. plus the burden of cost will come on my family and the stress i cant even imagine .
i do feel that i am only thinking about the short term benefits and losing out on long run.
good to know that your sil had twins(i'd love to have twins ) and your relative too .
thank you

 

hi kashmirflower thanks for your reply . yes for now i am giving job as the reason but dont know for how long (with all the impending restrictions proposed on my work permit). but for now as long as i am still working i cant take 1.5 months leave max would be 2-3 weeks and that too i would have no control on the doctor , treatments or for that matter anything . dont know what else is in store for me still . just cribbing dont mind . i would be just fine come what may.