Adoption

Hi,
Very good topic.

But I agree that people have really different views especially in India. But it is a good option and the fundamental instinct of mother and father will be the same either it their own children or adopted. But I think it would be better if they tell them that they are adopted at the appropriate time.

Thanks for the write up
Vaidehi

 

I am agreeing, because that is in the best interests of the child. I had seen a child who was adopted legally by the parents and the child since young knew she was adopted. It did not affect the child as far as I can remember. Still remember the very cute and really smart kid whom I had seen a couple of decades ago. At that age itself she knew that she was adopted, and so it became a natural issue taken at ease. It happened in India. In another instance the adopted daughter came to know just before marriage and she too took it easily and never bothered much.
But I prefer that they know it when they are able to understand what is meant by adoption.

Btw, I don't agree with this illegal process etc. I thought going by the legal way is the best option in the future interests of the kids and also for the parents. Just my thoughts, though I am not sure of the legal processes etc.

 

Generally people with broad minded nature accepting others/outsiders are the ones who can agree to adopt an orphan and bring them up......

Others generally look for lookalikes/similar natured people like their family members to give themselves the comfort zone to take care of them......This is the Taboo behind not adopting children...........

Tamil Proverb comes to my mind.....
Kakkaiku than kunju pon kunju.......meaning Crow considers its own little child as the Golden Child..........

 

That isn't correct.

Let's say we have own kids, our own genetic make up for the kids!!!
Well, some traits are inborn, I agree, but majority of the characteristics depend on how the kids are brought up. It is something we cultivate in the kids. When we have brought up our kids (adopted/own) in a good manner and if that is reflected in them, we can be assured that we have brought up our kids in a nice manner. Having said that let's say we did not bring them up in the manner we intended to, do we blame it on our genes!!!! No right, so we don't do it, so why do we have to take such an attitude towards adopted kids. I feel that whomever told such a statement needs to grow up first and are giving biased statements.

We have seen or heard so many kids who are their own genes, have not taken care of their parents as they age. So do we blame it on our gene or bringing up. Certain characteristics are inborn, certain aren't and I feel we just have to take it as such. Adopted or own, we just have to be a caring and affectionate parent, and we will just have to hope they develop good attitudes.

 

Agreed!
But why do people adopt?
Mostly after trying to have their own kids, and when that option had become impossible for whatever reason, the couple chooses it. So I believe when such a devoted couple choose that option, the extended family members should give them support, which unfortunately isn't occurring most of the times. But why can't they agree for the sake of their own kids happiness. It is not impossible, it has been made impossible because of the cultural and other aspects. I am sure we need lots of awareness in this regard. Btw I have cousins who have adopted kids and also other extended members of the family. The good thing here is that the family ( extended family) have accepted them into their family, including me. So that is why I am able to understand the pain the couple underwent and now they are happy family.