Aai ( Mother)

I spend a lot of time at home. Most of that time is spent alone. Not feeling lonely even when alone is something one has to work at actively. I try my best to keep my mind occupied. That involves a little bit of work, some reading and watching a lot of films and documentaries.

I am particularly enamoured by regional films and I am partial to Marathi cinema. Today I happened to watch a film called "astu" featuring Dr. Mohan Agashe who is a psychiatrist by profession in the main role. He is also a very well known theatre personality. In this film he plays the role of an ageing Sanskrit scholar who is afflicted by Alzheimers'.

He gets lost one day and follows a man and his elephant and ends up spending the entire day with that man and his family. The man's young wife (her acting is brilliant, to say the least) feels tremendous compassion towards this old man who does not know who he is, where he comes from, cries when he feels hungry, is otherwise happy and cannot take care of himself. The husband is scared of going to the police because he fears they might beat him up or put him behind bars. The wife decides to look after the old man like a child. The old man calls her 'aai' (mother).

Next morning the daughter of the old man and the police trace him and come to get him. The young lady tells the man's daughter 'take care him like your child. He has become God. He does not see any difference between people anymore'. That statement really hit me.

In the years dealing with Amma and after she left, I have wondered whether her state could be described as the state of 'bliss', of the Atma Swaroop. No joys, no sorrows, no mine, no stranger, no love, no hatred ..... no duality. Just someone inhabiting a very worn out body just witnessing all the drama around. Here was a simple, uneducated, nomad (albeit a character in a film) voicing what I wondered about all these years. Maybe I am being naive and just looking for comfort for my mind, but it was certainly very comforting to think that my suspicions are at least a possibitye. If that is the case, I need not worry about her anymore. What's more, if that is true, I should consider myself blessed to have spent so many hours in the company of someone in that state.

Foolish me. I know. I keep asking millions of questions - sometimes utterly stupid ones. Who could possibly have answers to these questions? Why do I still keep entertaining all these thoughts, knowing full well that there will never be any answers? Only God knows.

 

Thanks a lot Geeta! It is on Amazon Prime. I deleted the entire thread and the title second guessing myself - I feel I ramble too much these days. Maybe I shall third guess myself and request CS to restore the thread. Shall check out the film.

 

So sorry Rihana! You have a point. Probably Friday night fever! CS! Please help!

Actually Rihana, I have of late had a niggling doubt in my mind that I am overdoing the question-answer business. That was the reason for the second guessing myself.

Have requested CS to restore post as well as Geeta's response.

 

LOL Amulet!!! That is class!

 

Amica, hold your breath!!! Amazing, this turns out to be one of those 'effortless' Friday-wala posts! Some posts are born Friday-wala, other achieve Friday-walaness and yet some have Fridaywala-ness thrust upon them!

BTW: OP was once thrown off IL when she newly joined because there was a lot of deliberation whether satchitananda was a Swamiji coming onto IL for some fun (according to a friend on IL who unfortunately has crossed over .)