A Wife Or A Daughters Dilemma

hi ladies,

I have posted many of my problems and had got great advice from you all before also.After few years am again back for your valuable suggestions. I am happily married for the last 10+years and I have a 9 year old son. Now let me come to my dilemma. We are currently in gulf and we go for a vacation to India every year during July aug but in 2016 we skipped the vacation and went to Singapore and Malaysia with one of our close friend and their family. My mom was staying with me for nearly 1 year from 2015 April to 2016 March just taking few days gap in between due to visa issues. My mom came for first time to stay with me as my father is working in another country. Initially there were no issues.Later mom got bored due to our weekend outing with friends ,birthday anniversary house parties , going for movies dining out etc. she began to create dreadful nights for me. In my own house I can’t call my friends for a lunch and not even speak to them in phone casually. At last mom went in March and told that she won’t come again. She said she will manage alone in India. My father too advised me that’s best for me and mom. So when my DH suggested we will take a foreign vacation I readily agreed because I can’t hear more taunts from mom if I go to India. That year hubby job was also in trouble and we both were tensed a lot. He said he badly needs a vacation and finally I agreed.
Now again like that scenario is again back. Hubby has come with another tour plan which is really worth the money. In India some renovations is going on and we have to give a share to my parents because that house Is built equally by us and my parents. Hubby suggested we can give share in instalments by year end. Now we can enjoy the trip . But I can’t even think of saying to mom that am going for another foreign trip without giving any share. Even in last vacation my mom had given me taunts for my previous trip with friends saying who needs parents etc and all. moreover in 2016 it was my fathers 60th bday and I was planning to gift him when I meet him personally in 2017 but mom didn’t allow that. This year it’s their 35th wedding anniversary . Once we settle in India we can’t go like this so according to DH we should go for this trip and later will gift them a nice trip and give share as instalments. I will be staying with my mom for 1month before hubby comes for vacations this July . She will pass all her taunts when I will be alone. Am very tensed about facing mom. Friends what should I do go for a trip or give share and postpone my trip . If I postpone it our family friend will also cancel their trip as they are not interested in gong alone .really in a dilemma to decide whom should I please husband or my mom

 

Hi omnam,

My father is in a well earning semi government job in gulf and even at the age of 61 he can manage the expenses . But we don’t want him to meet the whole expenses for the works going on . We will pay him as much as we can but via instalments. Dad sends his full salary to mom so even a single penny is not spend without the knowledge of mom. Without moms knowledge I can’t make any dealings with dad. Dad is very understanding but mom

 

Hi omnam,

When I see DH’s interest in going for vacation I will be ready to bear the taunts from my mom for 1month.the problem is we can’t go for tour and give some lumpsum amount for renovations at the same time. In July aug air tickets rates are also very high from here . So we can’t meet all at the same time. But when I will say to my mom that we are going for a vacation she will not say anything to me at that time but only when I see her face to face. But she will express her views to my brother or father . She will definitely for sure will believe that we have surplus money to afford vacation and can’t even give any cash now for works. Even if I try to explain its of no use.