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A short story by me

Discussion in 'Stories (Fiction)' started by sushdevi, Apr 14, 2006.

  1. sushdevi

    sushdevi Senior IL'ite

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    Last edited: Apr 17, 2006
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  2. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    I read it, Sheela !

    Dear Sheela,
    Your story is beautiful & shows you as a sensitive person. The theme is very simple & you have played aound with words beautifully.
    The end is a little far-fetched ! So what - it makes nice reading & I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
    Love &regards,
    Chithra.
     
  3. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

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    Gripping Narrative and A Wonderful End!

    Dear Sushdevi,
    I read your story with interest. A very touching as well as a gripping narration. Well, to be frank, I guessed the end. Because half way through I had a feeling that I was writing this story and thought fast how would I end that. Your end is good. Yes, it is unrealistic. Very few women would prefer to stay back from their children and grand childrend for a little bird. But we as writers are to concern ourselves with those special characters who will do that.
    The story shows you as a soft and sensitive portion. Good work.
    I have a suggestion for you, though. When you post a story in a website, divide it into a number of small paragraphs leaving some gaps between each para. That way it will be easy to read it.
    You may adopt it even if you are sending your stories to mags. Because often stories get rejected for things like poor formatting.
    I wish you all the best. You will surely grow into a good writer. Keep writing.
    Varalotti
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    ur sensitivity coming thru....

    dear sheela,
    read ur story....felt it was a little too personal mental involvement hope i am wrong u r so sensitive it just comes through....any way a good start and beginning hope some more to come...try a little humour and u see how it picks up....dont give up...regards..sunkan
     
  5. sushdevi

    sushdevi Senior IL'ite

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    another short story

    Dear IL friends
    visit this link to read another of my short stories ..
    love and regards sheela (sushdevi)


    www.shawnolson.net/a/1267/.
     
  6. meenu

    meenu Bronze IL'ite

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    very nice,sush ,

    Dear Sush,
    Iread your story. Your narration is very catchy.When you mentioned the auto accident, I was almost sure of the end. Doomed writer???A n interesting expression. Good work .Keep writing.
    Regards,
    Meenu
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2006
  7. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    sushi i agree it is different....

    sushi,
    i do agree it is different...the narration though is a very sure kind i know u r made of better stuff so go ahead and write some more.....regards sunkan
     
  8. sapthu02

    sapthu02 Gold IL'ite

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    Link is not working :(
     

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