A Brat In The Making

A Brat in the Making.

Asked by her boss why she was quitting the job, the newly blessed mother replied she has a job at home, that she has to make a man out of a infant boy. Raising a child, boy or girl, is a full time job of making them responsible citizen. A mother has natural instinct to make it true.

"Most Indian mothers are grateful when a son is born and indulge them to excess. As the boy grows he remains close to the mother and distant from the father. The end result is that the boy grows up narcissistic and has a week ego. This makes him a bad team player in professional life."

(The above is a gist of a book The inner world :A psychoanalytic study of childhood in India by Sudhir Kakar)

Well I have not read the book nor do I agree with this conclusion about Indian mother or male child. I read this as a passing reference in a book I am presently reading

One thing however is true. Indian mothers do differentiate between a male and female child. The more so if he is the only male child among the children and still more so if he was born after the birth of 3 or 4 daughters. He is not only pampered by the mother but by the sisters and grand mother also. His needs get priority over everything else. His weaknesses are covered and faults ignored and condoned. He can nit be wrong. He is pampered at every stage till he turns a young man and ready to settle in life.

This may turn him into a brat with no respect for others. No wonder there are teens involved in rapes. Well, how can he be wrong?

This may turn him into an very weak person as he has no faith in himself. He may turn a loser. All his life thus far he was protected, provided and pardoned.

This may make him autocratic in nature one who cannot work in a team or one who cannot trust others. Given some authority he tries to suppress others out of his own sense of insecurity.

It may turn him mother's boy that may cause rift when he brings an outsider as a wife, depending on his mother for everything. Conversely his mother may feel outsider if he sides with his wife.

There are many possibilities. In essence boy or a girl is likely to turn anyone of the above if pampered in childhood.

Take great care of the child but never ever pamper him or her. One day he/r will have to face the real world all alone.

More importantly, help him or her to become a good citizen and a good human being.

 

Syamalaji,
Agreed that these days children in the homes where both parents are working are pampered for whatever reasons. But it is also true that male child has more freedoms than female child. It is also true that parents, particularly mothers crave for a male child. If the first child is male, fine, the family is complete. But if the first child is female, then try for a male child and in the process get more female children.
The second aspect is the bad effects of child pampering particularly male child who turn sort of anti social.
Well it is subject for caution.

 

All kids are pampered in the beginning. It is with the growing years that the difference surfaces between a male and female child. Pampering does not necessarily mean spoiling. Raising children to face the real world is complex but most parents make it.