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What To Do This Man? Is It Ppd?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by sanjuruby3, May 4, 2019.

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  1. May 6, 2019 #11
    shama146

    shama146 Gold IL'ite

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    I really feel pity for your mom. Being a daughter you should not let ur mom go through this.
    Tell me you are working but you dont even have the right to hire a maid. Why the hell do you need his permission when the money is yours. At this time of the hour plz for God's sake hire someone to help. whats the use of this money when it is not used for the right purpose.

    Your mom is really very kind. many problem will be solved if you hire someone for few months for cooking and cleaning purpose.
     
    shama146, May 6, 2019
    shama146, May 6, 2019
    #11
  2. May 7, 2019 #12
    sanjuruby3

    sanjuruby3 Platinum IL'ite

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    Thats what happened a week ago. I did not say directly but put up big fight in front of him. Same had happened previous week but friend is not mature again. So he came back again to sit at home for 6-7 hours. From evening to dead of night. And my older one suffers, she watches TV with them and then he sends her to me to sleep so they can sit and watch. I felt bad for worsening the situation or to be bad person but it had to be done. Now lets see how long he stays away. All i want is people to come and go back in time so my kids do not suffer from neglect.

    I am thinking to send her back so but i need her a lot. She stays up more than me to cuddle or sleep the baby as he is night crier.
    My mom in law will not and can not come.
    Too old + no passports+ we do not like each other + H won't like to put her in trouble + now she injured herself anyways.

    -why can’t you hire a maid or a cook ?i think u saw a few of your posts before and if I am not wrong you have a job right ?use your savings or whatever and get a cook.no need to take your h’s permission.
    No peds can make him bend. Because he knows ped conversation is driven by me, he already closes his brain doors. When first one was born, he would keep house at 85 - 90 degrees. Again we will have because its not good for kids. I would ask everyone with kid in front of him and ask ped in front of him. He hated and said ped keep saying just like that etc etc.
    Ultimately, he move to other room ( small room) with personal heater and he would keep space like a furnace.
    I tell her but mother does not stop serving him. He does not need breakfast or lunch everyday. She stays up whole night with me then wakes up to cook and pack for him with no appreciation from him. He hardly cleans up but sometimes he does something or need to find somthing in house, he starts screaming, we do not keep house clean etc. that makes more nervous as she thinks its her habits he does not like, like cooking, keeping dishes or cleaning in bathroom. If someone else is helping you, you can not make them do like you want? She has her own way of working.
    She is always feeling so pressurized and want to go back.
     
    sanjuruby3, May 7, 2019
    sanjuruby3, May 7, 2019
    #12
  3. May 7, 2019 #13
    lavani

    lavani Platinum IL'ite

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    as blunt as i can get. your H is a self centered narcissistic pyscho and so is his friend. My H will never stay in anyone house more than sometime and it is really a psychotic behaviour in staying and torturing in a house with an infant and toddler.

    no man in my knowledge has ever acted like this when his wife just had a baby or even acted like this to his friend.

    you do not have options.

    either suck is up and live in depression for ever

    or
    call the police if your H friend does not leave.

    If your H does not act like a H in supporting you and kids , plan to file divorce.

    rest all the talks , will do no good. keep talking and convincing yourself. Sorry if this sounds so rude. but this is no
    Post partem depression. this is abuse. depression is just an effect of the abuse.

    i can suggest a another option. leave to India with kids. lot of people will be there to help. pay and hire help.
     
    lavani, May 7, 2019
    lavani, May 7, 2019
    #13
    SinghManisha and Sunshine04 like this.
  4. May 7, 2019 #14
    yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Op....your mother is getting abused by your husband who you knew is abusive.
    Why did you call her when you know your husband?
    She wants to go back but has to stay back and take abuse because you don't want her to go.
    It is really sad.

    Why can't you get a nanny and some help around the house?
    Why do you have to depend on that man for that?
    If you don't have money...sell your jewelery,sell stuff from your house and get help instead of making your mother go through this.Take a loan from family or friends.

    If you don't care about her respect ,why should that man who is anyways an abuser.
     
    yellowmango, May 7, 2019
    yellowmango, May 7, 2019
    #14
    sbonigala, Dhamini, SinghManisha and 1 other person like this.
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