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How To Deal With Mil!!!!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by star90new, Aug 18, 2018.

  1. star90new

    star90new Bronze IL'ite

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    None of those. My mother in law tries to belittle my relationship with my husband. Whenever things has to be done as a couple she talks as if I dont exist . She also takes decision on my behalf .
     
  2. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    No. Fill registered in his name.
     
  3. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

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    See ur mil or Fil will never like u .its not just for u its in general for dil ..they will never change .
    Now here u have to tell your husband that u feel bad since u have no respect as dil in family or as ur wife .. if this is when u just come to India then ignore little but this mil involment even when u r away then u should tell her straight away but polite that u n your husband together will do it.. just say it once ..
    My mil would do the same once in India I told him change the shirt it does not look good n does not go with the pants so my mil jumps and says it looks good no need to change I just left the room my hubby came back asking what to wear in front of his mom..I m trying to tell u is u should show your husband that it bothers u and U too get mad.. he understood since there were manny years of examples of torture of his mom..
    Money and property u both should do ..talk all in your house not in inlaws ..if u are mad show it to all be quite don’t talk to everyone just do your work..let your husband n mil know it hurt u ...but do not fight with him it will just ruin relation.tell him It upset u ..
    I would get mad n fight so days went just in that .i should have shown n left there ..
    .it’s not bcz it’s your husband name but your involment became zero at the end of your house purchase..
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2018
  4. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

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    I can understand that .she will show it’s her family her husband her son but it can’t be your husband ..her money is husband’s and son’s but your is just u earn ..
     
  5. star90new

    star90new Bronze IL'ite

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    I told my husband, I had to repeatedly say to make him understand. I dont understand why its so hard for him to understand that his mothers words are not right!


    I dint fight with him , he kinda understood at the end and said the next time his mom talks like that he would advice her. How can I show my MIL that I am upset? Should I tell her?
    Wont she be happy, when I say I am upset?
     
  6. star90new

    star90new Bronze IL'ite

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    Actually she doesnt want me to work. So she doesn’t want me to have my own money.
     
  7. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Op....would your parents be happy if for some reason you decided to buy a house from your hard earned money only on your husband's name....specially when the marriage is very young.

    Even your parents would prefer you register your hard earned property in your name or joint names.

    Your mil is trying to protect her son .Nothing wrong in that .

    What exactly is your objection to your husband registering it in joint name with you?
    He is making you an equal partner.
     
  8. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    thats a lie. you live in usa, u can work if u want.
    the property is being written in ur husbands name, whats there to worry??
     
    Sangeeta85 and SinghManisha like this.
  9. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Good morning . I apologize in advance if my reply comes across as too harsh.
    I have not been on IL for too long. I do remember reading some of your posts. I do not know if it is my insomnia or odd timing of reading them but I do find your posts incoherent at times. You need to make a list of your actual problems and your perceived problems .
    For e.g . Your MIL not wanting you to work might be perception/ misinterpretation. Unless she physically puts you on lock down at home or contacts the Immigration officer to cancel your work permit that is not possible ? You can still go to work 1000’s of miles away from her .
    The property under joint name should not be a problem. If she is happy and enthusiastic about her son buying property is it not natural ? Her having some sinister intentions in accompanying her son for the registration might be your misinterpretation.

    Focus on solving the actual problems that will affect you not the perceived ones.
     
  10. happydheivanai

    happydheivanai Silver IL'ite

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    This happen in most of the houses...let the property b in ur husband name what is the issue?

    Thank god she didn’t ask to register in her name....that would b more tough....
     
    shravs3 likes this.

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