Neighbor Making My Life Hell

You are spending too much energy and time in proving that you are better person than her. What you are failing to understand is during this process you are actually loosing out on day to day happiness in life. She has more time to kill than you. For your own mental health and peace of mind please move to different area. You don't need to prove her or anyone that you are a good human being. If people can believe things without any background then you are wasting your time thinking about them. They will never be your true friend. Looks like damage is already done . Sooner you get out better for you.

 

1 Move out if that is a convenient option. 2 As you come near your house affirm repeatedly "I am not allowing these people to spoil my mood. I am not dependent on them for my happiness." 3 Never discuss your personal matters with anyone unless you have known them for a few years and you can rely on them to be a helping hand.

 

You are feeling isolated bcos u have started working. The ladies must be having a common time to go to the park and since you are not available they don't see you as a part of their group bcos the priorities are different for a working mother and a stay at home mother. I feel you are giving too much importance to those ladies and so getting stressed. You need to mind your own business and mingle with working mother's like yourself. Birds of the same feather flock together.

 

you can also try another option of inviting others friends (not all of them at the same time)to your house for a small party or find an just occasion -send casual tea party invites or playdate invites and attempt to ask at the end of the party ----hey buddy you guys are all so busy not finding time or what or ignoring me? Maybe one or few of them might speak up...or might talk to you freely...Dont forgot the proverb - 'DIVIDE AND RULE' - this definitely works in professional place too..

 

Dear OP,
I read your post few days ago and wanted to reply. As many said, these stories are happening anywhere.
Group of friends, gang will form.
1-2 out of them become the deciding factors, they decide who should be part and out of group.
These 1-2 become active/dominant coz they maintains good relations with all such a way that they goto any extent of mas-ca them. Anyone who makes them jealous or insecure will be eliminated from the group. They bad mouth and make sure rest also ignore.

what they say ? This is the million dollar question i had for years when same was done to me. I could never find out but only after seeing same thing happening 2 of the ladies i know realized, the group owners called me warned me not to talk and told like all silly things against 2 ladies. I used my common sense and didnt stopped talking.

They dont have to say you have disease, even more powerful scare is " you will also be avoided if you talk to her". When we hear about someone having a fight going on we definitely feel scared to make any friendship with them. so thats why rest of neighbours avoid you.

My own personal experiences of things said against few friends to me, that i shud avoid them.
1. Their kid is very bad, beats every kid and have 10 complaints so all are avoiding their family you also do. If she comes your house with her kid, we are not coming.
2. She got into fight with 2-3 ladies in group, she has problems with her own mother or mother in law also, she has horrible fights with her husband too. Everyone is staying away, you also stay away.

The sentence " She or her husband or her kid got into issues with 2-3 people in neighborhood, everyone is avoiding her you also avoid, if not neighbors are going to avoid you". I bet most of the ppl will start avoiding to save themselves or keep them away.

 

Solution is -
when i got this problem, i started making friends with one lady in group. sent her text messages and was extra nice. Almost for few months i used to keep talking to her, finally she became my friend, she did tell me few things that caused me out of the group. how very small things i said were exaggerated as if i commented on someone....etc.. so i invited even those other ladies and behaved nice. I was also extra nice, invited the main leader of group who bad mouthed me. so everything calmed down.
now the group didnt had any choice but to invite me too. Now am in a hello bye friends with this old group who tried to bad mouth me.

now 2 of friends i know got this problem. am helping them to come out of this, coz it wont be nice to let the bad rumours spread against them.
so i called my friends, told them all the small mistakes they did which turning out to be bad rumors, who saying what on them. so they are now making sure to clarify those with the ladies and trying to maintain atleast hello bye friendship