Thinking To Quit Job

I used to be working but turned stay at home mom for my kids so I guess I qualify to answer your queries.
Unlike you, I have no support from.anyone in the family, so decided to focus on my kids hence had to let go of my career. Though I used to work part time after my first kid was born, I am yet to do that after my second one.
First of all , you have to clarify whether your mil is staying with you just to support you or she stays permanently. Because if latter is the cause, then its better to continue with the job as things will get worse with you to at home together all the time. Trust me on this. About your kid, he is never going to leave your side. Trust me in this too. My kid loves his grand parents, he even used to cry for them and wanted to stay with them all the time. But as he grew up, he developed this understanding that mom and dad are irreplaceable in his life. So now a days if they ask him to do anything, he keeps telling them , " I will do it only if mamma permits" . They don't like this attitude of his but that's how things are for him.
So if I were you , I wouldn't worry about my kid not loving me because needs eventually learn the difference between mom and grand mom.
So I think that's really not a valid reason foe you to quit.
Now you want to quit just because to show your husband that you can cook too? Come on now, if your husband does not respect you now, he probably never going to respect you ever.even if you quit your job to Impress him, he will blame you for laziness I am sure. So again not a valid reason to quit.
And if your mil stays with you permanently then she may not allow you in the kitchen. Think about it too.
Also you seem to think that its fun to stay at home. But as much fun as it sounds , its much more challenging than you can think about. There is always something or the other chores left which need your attention. You don't really get much time shopping and you miss your career like anything. On the top of it, you don't have that excuse that I am tiered so couldn't finish that task as now you have all the time in the world and still you did not fulfilled your bit. Think about all of it.

 

If your mil lives with you, it's better to continue the job as the drama may only increase if you stay at home 24/7. She couldn't even stand you for 4 months after delivery, but if 'you' can stand her, then you can go for it.

If cooking is an issue, hit the bed early instead of 12 n wake up early n cook for him or do so during weekends.

Yes, I have seen attachments with grandkids than parents. But it may not be the case if you manage to spend quality time with him everyday, weekends, etc. N as the child ages, his school timing gets longer too, then put him in some fun classes nearby, it will keep him busy till you come home, that equals to lesser time with the granma n using his time productively. So granma is also more free n no more a slave baby sitter. Hire cooks for cooking if that's troubling her as well. If you think you are doing this only to stop her complaining, it wont work.

If you really want to take a break, try going on a one month health leave or something n see if you are able to stand being in the house 24/7.

 

Op....do what you want for yourself .
If you want to spend more time with your child because it makes you both happy,then do that.
Don't leave your job because people are complaining or they value mil more.
Your husband will probably always value her more.
If you quit...he may start complaining about you not having a job and sitting at home because some guys can value a mother as a homemaker,but not a wife.

Think of your happiness not their whinning.

 

OP, you should quit if you think it will make you much happier spending time with your son. MIL issues will come and go, you can cook for DH even when you both are old, but the toddler years of your son will never return. IMO you need to take this decision with your husband and decide on finances etc.

If MIL does not like your spending time with your son at your own home, too bad. If you can handle her while being an SAHM, you should not have any issues.

 

Why don't u take a job which is part time and see u come in the time frame as your son n spend more time with him .. if u quit u will loose the peace of mind .. let your husband be what he wants because he will not change bcz it looks like she is doing the work leave it no use..
or keep your son in day care till u reach home do that he does not spend time with her .. yes these women are mean horrible they manipulate even the young kids,mine is like that n she does it in a month time or even 15 days so u have to keep eye on her..

 

I would say don't quit. When working, it is easy to think of quitting and spending time with the kid, taking break from the busy days. But as everyone said, it will only alleviate the issues. I took break for 1.5yrs and joined back last month. I never wanted to return to work but I didn't have peace of mind. Now I am having a second life at work. Staying at home will only increase expectations and you will end up doing more work and still dealing with unsatisfied husband and mil. No one will recognize your work or your career sacrifice.
If possible take few days off. Work remote now and then if possible. Spend quality time with your kid. Even if it is an hour a day, it will be enough to have a positive parenting impact on the child. On weekends, feed your child, bathe him, have conversations, take your kid to a park and spend time. Don't waste your time cooking.

 

I always wanted to work till am atleast 50years.

I worked all my life from time I graduated.. I always used to tell my dh would join back work once kid is 6 months. And make arrangements of relative working as nanny.

But I had to change my decision because

Dh moved USA, I can't work on h4.

Now even if we move india not sure if I want to work. As I don't have any support of inlaws or parents to take care of kid.


Am happy for working all these years and quitting job at right time to take care of my son..

But I have seen how irritating it is to sit at home with mil giving "gyan" about how to raise kid.

Being house wife with dh and kid is different from being sahm having mil at home..

You can always take break for 3 months see how it goes and join back job or continue being sahm if you like it.. Don't share your plans of quitting job permanently(or couple of years). Just can say trying new job or taking a break or something.

 

I really agree with @fourthaugust here.
Quitting a job because you want son to love you more, DH to appreciate your cooking skills and MIL to stop complaining are not good enough reasons.
You can spend your entire life cooking like Tarla Dalal but your DH might still appreciate his mom’s cooking . Why not send kid to daycare , hire a good cook?
If not , take a day off once in a while and spend time with the son and tell MIL it’s her chutti day.

 

Don't quit.
No one will give award for your big sacrifice, giving up a career is big for cooking , mil, kid...
I feel your mil is wantedly doing this to get you out from workforce to make you stay home dil not sham.
Plan your day well, don't sleep late.
Plan the meals for the week.
Make the maid cut vegetables beforehand.
I will suggest cook Early both Breakfast n lunch, simple ones as idli, sambar , same sambar goes for lunch, roti chana masala, same chana roti for lunch. Make eleborate meals on weekends.
Keep giving hype on how you manage both home n office. Blow your own trumpet.
For the kid he would soon go to full time school from 8-3 pm. What will you do that time? See your mil face and her home keeping methods?
Spend full evening with kid, while you fold clothes to wash car. Play with him.
Again I know it's very tired, ask mil to make dinner, like do the roti dough or make any gravy...if she says no, just make one pot ones like upma, kichadi and buy ready made rotis. Make gravies...
Planning saves you tonnes of time.
Don't sleep late, with IT job, calls, travel time, bugging team and demanding onsite. Takes your peace. Don't give them a chance.
Quitting is bad idea and not worth in long run. The money, the power. If you be at home, I bet you can't stay more than a month. If u go out u meet people and you have your own self not a mom, Dil wife etc.
Do some intense planning... For the day.
Else hire a cook, who can cook far better than mil.