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Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by sensitivegal, Feb 28, 2017.

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  1. sensitivegal

    sensitivegal Silver IL'ite

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    hi ladies...
    I have completely cut down my contact with one of best friend. I am not sure if I did the right thing.. you guys pls help me in solving the same.. she is my childhood friend and far relative of mine.. .. I know her since I was in school ..we lost contact in between.. when I was about to get married we again came in contact. She is very emotional as person. Used to advice me a lot. I also used to console her.. we used to share and care.. I honestly feel she did change after I got married, started comparing my life to hers.. she thinks I am away from my mother in law ( since I am in USA and she is in India).. she feels I am enjoying my life..she doesn't understand each person life is different.. gets jealous because of this.. she tries to show off things that I don't have like I don't have kids as of now . I feel it is very cheap.

    Coming to the recent incident.. me and my husband have just started planning for a baby..it's been just a month., ob-gyn told us that it takes minimum 6 months for a healthy couples to conceive.. as we don't have any underlying medical condition.. except that my husband has very less interest but he does cooperate when I initiate. Since she was my good friend I told her that I am planning.. she knew my cycles.. I told her that we had sex this day Jan 21st and all.. and she had remembered correctly that day.. she is trying to ask me whether I am pregnant or not.. I felt she is acting very very curious.. if I was pregnant I would have told her.. I was not pregnant... I felt her enquiry as bit sarcastic.. " she asked.. hey you are supposed to give me good news right.. what happened" ? .. I don't know if it is a coincidence or not.. that similar day I had put my cosy picture ,me and my husband on wats app profile picture.. that was valentine day pic.. she often has arguement with Dh due to her mother in law.. where as I don't have it.. so she felt jealous.. and then sarcastically asking about my pregnancy.. I told her it takes 6 months to get pregnant ..she doesn't leave the topic there... she again wants to dig more.. and she changes her profile picture with her son.., I felt it was done on purpose.. ppl act very cheap by showing off their baby???!?!?! I blocked her all together..
    Pls tell me have I done right thing! Thanks in advance
     
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  2. Elsa

    Elsa Gold IL'ite

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    This is one reason why couples are not supposed to share their plans to start a family with an outsider. I guess, its the stress that is making you think that your friend is being sarcastic.

    Do not let her know about your menstrual cycles from now onwards. Stop sharing information about your private life with friemds and family ( except your mom and siblings if you prefer).
     
  3. sensitivegal

    sensitivegal Silver IL'ite

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    @Elsa .. thank you so much dear for response.. may be my stress.. but she does act like miss j.. for example .. we recently visited niagara.. I had posted my cost pic with Dh.. I am hugging him kind off.. the very day I am bombarded with bundle of her sons pics to me.. I feel she feels insecure and so she tries calm herself by telling that I also don't have certain things!! What do you feel.. I would appreciate your reply
     
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  4. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    You are oversharing. There is no reason anyone needs to know the dates of your menstrual cycles or intimacy.
     
  5. shri0218

    shri0218 Silver IL'ite

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    There are some things you don't even share to your best friend. When you know she is feeling insecure then you as her friend ignore such petty behavior.
    Every relationship is unique and u share only certain aspect with each one.
    Next time if she asks about your pregnancy tell her firmly but politely that if there is anything you will let her know. And bluntly change the topic she will understand.
     
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  6. sensitivegal

    sensitivegal Silver IL'ite

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    @MalStrom and @shri0218 thanks for suggestions.. I too feel that I am over sharing.. probably I will cut down.. but what would you do if she is purposefully using her kid as a show off.. I feel it is very cheap.. I feel like not contacting her anymore.. it is very hurtful to show someone that you have kid and other person don't.. kid is not show off material.. I hope many don't understand it sadly
     
  7. paru123

    paru123 Gold IL'ite

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    If her son's picture is disturbing you, then pls think that your cosy pic with husband would be disturbing her. If she has to be ok with your pic, you also should learn to be happy with what she has.
     
  8. MNR

    MNR Gold IL'ite

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    @paru123 Liked your reply. Was about to say the same.
     
  9. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Op...if you tell someone such details about personal life then you can't stop them from being curious.

    As for the rest....may be you are over thinking.
    You put up pictures of what you feel happy about ,she puts pictures of what she feels happy about.
    You will hopefully conceive soon...she has to live with mil and warring husband for much longer.

    Be a sport and be happy for what she feels happy about.Post nice comments on her pictures .
    Soon she will be happy for you.
    Don't lose a friend over petty assumptions .
     
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  10. iamsrihere

    iamsrihere Platinum IL'ite

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    If you dont feel comfortable with her,stop contacting her.As simple as that..
     
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