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How To Save My Mother And Make Her Happy

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by SaiNiharika, Jan 18, 2017.

  1. SaiNiharika

    SaiNiharika Bronze IL'ite

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    I want to share my pain to you, If possible please give helpful suggestions

    Mom, dad,me and my brother. My mother got married on her 17 yrs age, she is a village girl, my father also got Govt. job by his 23 yrs without any struggle. My mother tooo innocent but little bit clever and want to do good to all. She is devotee of sai baba. My father is harsh . If anyone says oppsite to his words un reasonally he scolds my mother showing any bad in her work. If he faces any bad in his office then he blames indirectly my mother. Sometimes he beats her. She though that because of his behavior out studies will spoil so she bared all the things. She thought that he will change his behavior in future. She bared all his nonsenses. If I and my mother spending time happy he won’t accept it he tries to spoil that happy movement and trying indirectly by saying that she has affair with someone. She scared about that words. Always she scars those types of words and did not tell any opposite to him. From 35 yrs she is baring, unfortunately my brother died after that I got married. She became alone with that animal, She don’t want to come out side from home, she became old, she says that I did mistake that I have to stop him in the starting, its time up for me. I won’t come from this home. Please Please tell me how to make my mother happy with my father, how my dad become good, he is going to retire this month, How my mother face him whole day. He had BP and sugar, I had fear because of his illness he will do some harm to my mother. He will beat her very much . Now her body is not ready to bare all. Now a days he is beating very much that she kept affair with someone like that, it’s totally meaning less , she never had that behavior .Please suggest me what to do. My brain is blank. I want to save my mother and want to look her happy at least from now
     
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  2. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    Are you living in the same town ? If so, you can visit your mother more frequently, or perhaps your husband can visit and control the old man. People with diabetics or high bp can make their own condition worse by behaving in a stressful way, and not taking care of their bloodsugar level or bp level. Someone (you and your husband) can take him to a hospital where there are stroke victims with no ability to move their hands and feet. Certainly no ability to beat anyone, if they cannot even feed themselves. That kind of future expectation could put some fear into the man. Fear of how bad behavior would be repaid in this birth before he dies. He will then start being kind to his wife, because she is the only one who can take care of him when his body freezes up here and there.
     
  3. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Can you take your mother with you for a few months?
    If yes.....take her.Tell your father his behavior has hurt her and she needs some time away to get better.
    May be he will realize her worth and learn to behave.
     
    KashmirFlower likes this.
  4. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Give a police complaint or at least threaten to if your father is physically abusing your mother.
     
    KashmirFlower and tcbhuvana like this.
  5. SaiNiharika

    SaiNiharika Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks for all replies, I am far away from my mother. Nonya you gave me good suggestion. YellowMango: he will not send her with me. He never gives her freedom to come. If she come he will play a trick that he became ill, he will inform to all about this that she is not treating him properly. What to do :(
     
  6. SaiNiharika

    SaiNiharika Bronze IL'ite

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    Malstrom, I don't want to separate my mother and father at this age, I want to made her happy from now. May be she will be alive 10 yrs. I want to see her peacefully and satisfy at least 1 year, I think my wish is not wrong. Please help me in this sort.
     
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  7. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    SN, My "good" suggestion is adapted from a story called "A Christmas Carol". Just a few weeks ago we had Christmas, and it was on TV. In that story, a very bad man who had been quite awful to all his relatives is visited by a ghost in the night. One night the ghost shows him what kind of future is in store for him. He was terribly shocked to learn that. After he wakes up from his dream, he hurries up and tries to do as much good as he can in the time he has remaining in his life. You may have already read the story in school. It is often a story book in highschool English. It is written by Charles Dickens. But the india school version is usually written by some others in simpler language.
     
  8. dimhere

    dimhere Gold IL'ite

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    Are you financially independent? Are you in a position to help her with some money? Can you use it to send her to some seniors' classes - like meditation, embroidery, craft or yoga? Something for her to make more friends, and get her out of the house for a few hours doing something that is interesting?

    At least for a few hours of peace, she can face this man again, and maybe better equipped to handle him. You have to find small ways to make her assert herself, and gain some confidence. 35 years is long enough to bear this hell.
     
    nakshatra1 and KashmirFlower like this.
  9. SaiNiharika

    SaiNiharika Bronze IL'ite

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    He will not allow her to go any classes, From next month he will always in home. because he is going to retire. I am getting worry about that.
     
  10. SaiNiharika

    SaiNiharika Bronze IL'ite

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    Nonya please pray the lord to do any miracle like that, that he will realise at least 50 %. I think that is only the option. I am also praying
     

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