What Is Your Take On The Issue Of Leaving Elderly Parents In Old Age Homes?

Regarding the really poor...I really do believe they are better off in these homes.Their lives would not be any better living in overcrowded slums where mere survival is a struggle.

As for children cheating parents....true.Greed turns people into monsters. The papers are full of people killing spouses,brothers,nephews,nieces,even their own children,parents ,dils ,friends and now we also read a few cases of dils killing in laws for greed.

But this is not new.....Ramayan,Mahabharat .....all are based on some form of greed.

 

The biggest question for the middle class/lower middle class is also about fairness of resource allocation.
Middle class /lower middle class is the one that has a lot of aspirations for their children.They want to send the children to the best school they can afford.
As the elderly become old and sick.....the harshness of cost of elderly care kicks in .Then the people are left making the harsh choice between spending on their children or the elderly parent.

A parent needing expensive treatment can wreck havoc in the lives of the middle class people.

In the olden days...many old age ailments were left untreated ...often limited to good food, leg massages and a visit to the local doctor.Now there are so many investigations and treatments available. Children are expected to do the best for the parent .
It sometimes is a choice between the dependent children and dependent parents.
It is a hard choice.

 

Not just that they choose to spend on kids at the expense of their saving for their retirement.

 

1. how many daughters in india are primary care givers for their parents? a few weeks ago people on the same forum said that it is so difficult for daughters to take care of parents and should be suitably compensated for taking care of parents. to whom does this property belong by seeking mind i think.
2. when there is a choice between your kids mental health and your MILs mental health, what would you choose?
3. people who are able bodied want to be waited upon hand and foot at all times. denial to this is emotional abuse according to them. your comments. what would you define as emotional abuse to parents?
4. i dont want my daughter to interact too much with MIL. she has created enough trouble between us parents and daughter also. if your MIL does so, how open would you be to MIL interacting with kids? what about emotional abuse?
5. my husband has extremely long working hours and partly for this reason i stay at home. husband works usually weekends also. how would he take care of his mother. please advise.

 

We were recently at the blood bank to donate for a friends acquaintance in a big hospital.
There was a guy talking about his father who was on ventilator(he was also there for the blood) .This guy looked very middle class.He was telling his friend he had a medical insurance of 18 lakhs which was fast running out and he would have no option but to take his father home in whatever condition once the insurance limit was crossed because they had exhausted all savings too.
Even with a decent medical insurance...this guy was having to choose between father and survival.

 

want to add
even if son and daughter are responsible for taking care of their respective parents, still its not possible without the support of their spouse. If parents are moving in with children, then certainly child's spouse is going to get affected if parents are abusive towards them...in that case if spouse doesnt want to live with abusive in-laws who are still abusive, can you blame the spouse of child?? in that case how child can take care of parents without splitting the family??