Feeling Used By A Friend.... :(

I just quoted an experience of mine and tried to offer you some suggestions which you could have very well ignored.

If ever I had a problem like this, I would have solved it myself. I dont have to write a reply to your post keeping my friends and neighbors who have bothered me in the past, in view. If I were in your place, I would help B or fir that matter, anyone who asks me for a ride or any other help without expecting anything in return, if I could and not keep a count and cribbed later. If for some reason, I could not, or did not want to, I would have told them directly and asked them to look for other options. I believe in Karma. Do good and be good as much as you can.

Yes, I have read the last two paragraphs. I see nothing wring with B refusing to eat any food. You should have taken care of your kid and left her alone. You are not responsible for her eating or not-eating. and regarding the text-message, let them know that you did not like the way she has drafted her message.

you should have said no, if you feel your friends are coming to you only when they need you and not putting in any efforts to be friends with you otherwise. I would still stick to my first post in this thread. Leave them alone, do not expect them to act or behave like you would do if you were in their place. As simple as that. Make new friends and make yourself busy. Dont waste any time and energy on them.

 

bottom line - YOU ARE CORRECT....when comes to friendship everything automatically will turn mutual between, unless for some rare unavoidable circumstances, that too we can understand. If that fails, just dont care.....

 

OP, Newly married, having pets are not the reasons to be inconsiderate. Newly married doesn't make a person rude or make faces to people who meet her. When I first came to US, I was married for only 2 weeks. Mine was an MTR wedding. Meaning everything happened in 2 weeks. So when I came I was exhausted and wanted to relax for a few weeks. Inspite of that when hubby's friends and wives wanted to meet me, I went along. I welcomed them and ensured we had a good time. But then that just might be me.

If B was newly married and didn't want to entertain OP she cud have told she wont be able to get together making some excuse. She going along with meeting and then making faces shows she is inconsiderate of everybody's feelings except hers. Thats inexcusable and downright rude.

I too am averse to pets. I love a cute dog, cat or rabbit picture. But I am scared of animals.I went to a few friends houses who have pets.I mention it beforehand that I am scared. I don't go there and make faces.

The lady B appears to feel entitled to all help she can get and feels she doesn't have to be polite to ask . I don't think OP is wrong in asking for basic courtesy.

I remember one of my hubby's colleague's wife was like B. When she wanted help and wanted to stop by for lunch she just did, no request nothing but when we wanted help , she wud quote how inconvenient it was.Even to her I was polite when we were in same community. Once we moved out of state , I mentioned to a common friend not to tell that lady our contact details. By then I was tired of her attitude.

People like B are so draining we end up venting to somebody or the other. OP,Hope you are doing okay getting away Good Luck.

 

Wow lots of caps in your reply! why do you think that I am belittling you, questioning you when I just tried to offer you a different perspective? And why do you think now that I was too clouded to see someone's reply? This is the last one from me on this thread, just so you know.

 

I had seen such kind of people and used by them like you. I just stopped encouraging the relationship. Later they got shifted other station, not even bother Ed to inform us about their relocation. Again one day got a call from her as they have some personal work in our town so planning to stay in our home. I just replied ohh is it...

Don't give your hand or put down your self respect for undeserved persons

 

Sorry old thread.. I didn't check that

 

Why was it that op never contacted a and b through text or WhatsApp. Most people complaint that others don't contact them unless they have some work. OP, did u ever message them any time saying hi, how are you. What was her response then.