Property Belongs To Whom?

I think son would understand all this if it comes from his mother instead of his sister...

 

Why do u think so ...someone who lays claim to land after building the house isnt exactly kosher.

 

I think this is fair given the circumstances. But I doubt the son will agree. Good luck!

 

because i think he feels that her sister is moving into house and remodelling it to take it away from him on the name of taking care of mother....he is feeling like he is being manipulated by his sister....he is having doubt on intention of his sister....if his mother would say that i want to live in the house with my daughter as he is not here to take care of her than this will have different impact rather than his sister saying mother want this and mother want that....
JMO....

 

I think property share should not be done till both parents live. They should not be in a condition where they have to dependent financially. As @justanothergirl said about somebody, the elderly could afford 24/7 nurse with 20K - 50K expenses every month because they had a house and sold it and used it for their old age comfort.

And parents also should be willing to use property for their needs instead of worrying about what to pass on to their grown up sons and daughters (if the grown up kids can't help themselves because of long term illnesses that is different) .

Why can't mother live in the house where her husband lived? It is like if a woman loses her H, she looses all dignity, her simple wish to live in that house, she even loses her home? Isn't it life long attachment we have with our homes?

Mother should continue living in that house, and they all should talk that, just because daughter living now with mother it will not become her property. After that all 3 kids has to share it equally + son gets more for his help in construction and deduct medical expenses of her mother till that time what ever occurs.

 

The monetary value may be considered. One agreed person can take it all by paying for it adequately to all others , unless all the stake holders decide that the house does not have more than a land a value.

 

@SeekingMind : OP that will not happen with you and me discussing it here. Did the mother discuss the sister moving in with her with the son in the initial stage only - when they were in the thinking stage and not nearing the execution stage? From whom this message comes to the son will color his judgement about the whole situation. If you consider equality between brother and sister as per law for inheritance, there is no difference between who took care of the mother. Why glorify the sister and demonize the brother? Sister moving in is going to happen if and only if the son is given confidence that his interests will be protected. What history do the brother and sister share? Probably not very good from all that has happened. The mother has to do the talking and ensure that her dependencies do not color her judgement.

Yes the women have to balance. But it is not that the men don't have to do it. Here you know only one part of the story and that too second hand. I suspect there is lots more to this story. What about those parents whom the daughters refuse to look after citing a list of real and imaginary reasons? All daughters are not caretakers in India. It is still the sons who do it primarily in India. Things would not be so bad if the relationships between the siblings was good. And who does it does not matter as is a matter of chance. In this forum only how many daughters are taking care of their parents when they have brothers?

I asked you in an earlier post - if the parents had spent more on the daughter than on the son, would you and the other relatives expect the daughters to finance the parents and absolve the son of his responsibilities? In the case where the sons take the residual, many sons don't get more than what their sisters get. But since most of such men don't come from a section of society where they don't have the awareness to come on social forums to talk about it, we pretend it does not exist. Social structures were not made yesterday and don't just encompass us - the affluent.

Correct the son cannot sit there in US and give directions. Similarly the sister cannot sit here and give directions to brother and expect him to agree to everything in good faith. As @Rihana mentioned, with such a family the son should write this off as a bad debt and move ahead in life learning his lessons once and for all. What you want OP will not be accomplished by opening a thread. You want an out of court settlement and that would happen only when there is trust and communication among the parties involved. None of us know the son or would be able to set the situation right. The best solution in my opinion has come from @dimhere where she has proposed that the son buys an apartment each for his sisters. On the other hand @justanothergirl has mentioned a very valid point of rising medical costs. The mother has to make an informed choice as to what she wants to do. To make and break this situation here is in the mother's hands.

 

the funny part now in india,even if you want to buy apartments in India now,they don't cost less than 40laks.So 2X40laks which is 80laks.Where NRI's get that kind of money.
The only option being selling off the property and share the money.What if,if the son not interested to sell the house and at the same time he can't effort to shell 80laks from his pocket for other siblings.There is no clear solution to it.
This is all because of too much high value of property costs.
We had the same situation in my husbands family,where we got land for 10laks and now it costs 70laks and had to give away for siblings for the same reasons-taking care of parents,Only god knows weather they really took care of it or not.My husband is ok to give to siblings and I am not a fighter.

 

How will the sister claim her share if the mother wants to move to the house?
She can only get the share if the property is sold...so where will the mother move?

The only way this makes sense is if she is claiming the mother's share as hers as well and hence wanting the upper half of the property......otherwise,she is just creating hurdles in the path of her mother returning back to the house by claiming her share right now.