Right(eous) Timeline Of Affair?

Trying to take the topic further....
Similarly...if a person is not interested in intimacy or emotional needs of the partner....this person should move out .Why stay in a marriage and hurt the partner ?Constant rejection can be very hurting.

?????

 

The hurt partner should call it over, right? Coz they are the one hurt. Makes sense? They move on coz the other spouse doesnt fit them at all. A cannot make the marriage, B calls it over.

YM - pls tell me what you would tell a loved one. If god forbid - they pick the wrong spouse, call it over instead of ema right?

 

In this case (that thread),the hurt(by cheating) partner wanted to continue
Waisay...how easy is it for a person to quit saying my partner doesn't care...specially for a woman in our marriages?
.........................................................................................

Till a few months back,I used to think the worst thing a person can do is cheat on a partner.
But after reading numerous threads of people being married to partners who do not care about the basic emotional and physical needs of the partner ,of assuming the partner will just adjust to a life without any love or lust because they know how difficult it is to break a marriage(specially in our marriages) ...I wonder.

These cases are worse because it is difficult to decide at what point they (the neglected )should leave,when to stop trying ,when to leave hope.Often they end up wasting the best years of life in hope.If this is not cheating,then what is?

Where is the ambiguity in marriage regarding this?One gets into marriage expecting to get and give love ,care and intimacy. If you are not interested ,why cheat your partner of it.Why get into a legal and sacred bond that denies the partner from getting love care and intimacy else where?If this is not cheating ...what is .

At least with cheating(infidelity)...the other partner has got a chance to make a clean get away and a big enough social reason to justify getting away..

 

Thats fine ym. I am not sure what you would advise a loved one. Better to move on dignified than cheat. Bye

 

Ragini, what we ourselves might do might be different. God forbid, one should find oneself in such a situation. But that does not mean I'd castigate this person after reading what she has gone through. In this case I do not feel she has cheated. You can cheat a person who feels cheated. The husband in this case probably does not give a damn beyond the fact that she should be available to 'look after' and be respectful to his parents. (Yes, every thread on this forum is subject to the fact that we hear only one side of the story. However, the OP in this case comes across as pretty honest and has not tried to hide her own shortcomings or 'wrongs').

I think I have explained quite clearly my stand on the issue. Nowhere have I said EMA is a great idea or fine across the board, but in THIS PARTICULAR CASE I can't find the heart to find fault with the OP. Like I said, we just have to agree to disagree. Not everybody can agree over everything.

 

Satchi, in this thread you wrote physical ema disgusting and never approve it, right? The thread you talked abt did go behind hubby to have sex. Just fyi.
Anyway you folks have a good week.

 

My dh has a caring loving partner....and he doesn't care about having female friends.If he did...we would have a problem.
Similarly I have a loving caring partner. So no excuses for straying.

Seriously...any EMA from my partner would kill my soul.
So would constant rejection and emotional neglect where he just didn't care.

 

I know about that. I had mentioned that too - that she did not mind that because from her perspective that was alright. From mine, it is not. For me, it would not be an EMA as long as I just had a friend with whom I could chat and let off steam. Each one to their own.

If this same OP were to say, just as an example, 'we generally get along well except when his parents come over. This time it got particularly bad and I got into an EMA (physical)' my reaction would be quite different.

 

I would just hope all my loved ones are loved by their loved ones .