story of me & my best friend - A loong post

kanthtx · May 7, 2014

hi -
u need to completely cut all contacts with ur friend and move on with separate ways....

there seems to profound ego problems in ur relation ship which is not healthy....

a friend ship should feel supportive, cherishable and fun.... not a burden for years along...

also u need to stop with the obsession of them not treating u fairly or misunderstanding u or other drama.... just break off and move on to new friends ...

in life some times close friend ships get ruined as people age over years... that does happen to a lot of people....

Tavishi25 · May 7, 2014

Very painful to loose a friend.hope one day she will know her mistake of loosing such a lovely friend like you

crazysans · May 7, 2014

pinky6 said: ↑

Hi belive it or no i had a slightly similar experience with one of my indian friend and from then on i decided to have no friends and now i don't have any indian friends to talk here but i think it's better not to have such kind of friends.sorry to say this but the bitter truth is white peoples are for better than our indian people . We both have common friends (whites) and we comfortable with them they help us when in need and we help them when they need our help.
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Hi Pinky , Believe me or not. You just spoke both me and my husband's mind. Let me tell you, we just moved into our new home where there are no Indians. Everybody critisized us that we baught a home away from all Indians etc etc. But the reason why we took this decision is to move away from all those dramas after having that bitter experience. If my best friend can turn that way to me anybody can turn. Since the last couple of years it started bothering me so much so that when ever I call her and she does no pick up, I fail to spend quality time with my family or mentally disappointed or keep thinking , why this , what have done etc etc and at the end of the day or 2 days I am realizing that I have lost precious 2 days of life thinking about something that's not in my control. My husband always says its better to stay away, talk less and keep in touch than staying next door but with negative feelings / thoughts about each other. So we stayed away. Even now if she invites me for something at hers we are OK to go, but we may behave very very formally and I think she will also do the same or she may not come at all. We have decided to do what we feel is good from the bottom of hearts in all honesty and leave her judgement at bay from now on wards. No lies, no excuses nothing just do good and be good and leave everything else to its course.

But nonetheless this has been a great lesson for us and we as a family want to think more about our kids, their homeworks, well being etc than all these things. We don't want to do things anymore to please anyone or to get any ones approvals. I think we are not smart enough to deal with all these manipulative situations/people

pinky6 · May 7, 2014

Hi you know what the friends that I had before they are only for partying not for help they just come eat dance and go but after cutting off ties with them I realised that I had lot of time to spend with my kids and husband .....now I concentrate more on my kids studies and no more bulk cookings , no more cleanings and washings now just we four of us.last week we celebrated our daughter's birthday and we are just four of us and I did not felt bad at all we bought a huge cake and ate ourselves.....i am not inviting anyone and am not visiting anybody's home this way am more happy this just my opinion....

guesshoo · May 7, 2014

Don't do this to yourself. Just stay away and remain formal with this couple. Your friend and her husband turned out to be bad eggs over time. That's all. Not all people are like that. There is no reason for you to put yourselves into exile and shun contact with other people.

They clearly don't seem to respect you or care for you anymore. She helped you initially, and you helped her a lot in return. Chapter closed. There is no reason to feel indebted to her anymore. Do try and move on. And when you do talk, stop telling her about your life. Don't ask them anymore what the issue is; in case they ask, pretend there is no problem and you are all great friends. However stop doing her favours. No more of her guests being pawned off on you. If her friends invite you, you be friends with them without letting her know. You don't need her approval as though you are the years old all over again. In other words, just be a bit more street smart. Such people are not worth the time and energy you spend thinking about them.

Next time ins you make friends be open to a great degree but keep your distance. Prioritise your needs and your family's needs before others'. If you can help, do (and foget about it) else politely decline. If anyone seems to nitpick after you have done them a favour, drop things as they are and walk out. Tell people - with eye contact - then and there if they've offended you. Accept their apology gracefully; if they don't apologise and chide you instead, write off.

Create good times with your family to help you get over her and her husband.