how to handle stonewalling in marriage?

aditip · Feb 20, 2014

It was a love marriage. He was very good to me 7-8yrs back he use to treat me like queen but now he treats me like crap. May be some one else is there i'm not sure.

aditip · Feb 20, 2014

I'm trying to stonewall him but it's hard since he is already close to talk to hear to see.I don't know why do i love him still.

aditip · Feb 20, 2014

I am trying past 7 yrs I involved our friends to make him understand it's abnormal but he won't listen any of these.he use to physical torture me and our child.School reported it to social services when our child was in kindergarten so Authority Person came told him not to raise hand on child. Since than my husband thinks I was the one who complained to social services.he kicked me out right after that incident for 6 7 hrs later I got into our house but since than every thing going downhill. he doesn't trust me I don't trust him either.

aditip · Feb 20, 2014

I feel numb due to all this emotional,psychological abuse. his father is every day talking to him and giving him ideas to control me.I'm tired of all this.This relationship was suppose to be for love not for taking revenge.

troubledmom · Feb 20, 2014

So what are you waiting for? There is no magic wand or miracle cure anyone can suggest to make it all go away. You know what you need to do. What you have undergone is unimaginable. Please understand that it.will.continue till you decide to do something about it. Instead of involving his friends go alone to a counsellor or therapist. They will help you through the separation process. The 911 call history will also help you retain custody of the child.

Mommie007 · Feb 20, 2014

So what are you waiting for? He is done physically abusing you, now he has moved a level up to abuse you mentally. Why r u still in the marriage? If you say it's for your child's sake, then trust me doing more harm than it is favor. Get rid of him. Move on! Some day you might find yourself a companion who will treat you better. You are giving your husband an upper hand by letting him do what he is doing, and I'm sure he feels superior doing that to you! MOVE ON! you definitely deserve better! Dump his sorry ass and feel good about it! You will feel a sense of freedom when you do so!

ramyavadi · Feb 20, 2014

let me ask you are u working. can you take care of yourself and your kids with out your husband. after such long years with your husband its hard to think of leaving him. but before planning any thing just check where u stand professionally now. if your depend then take the stress for few more days make yourself stable in some job. it give you and your husband time. first you will get busy second he will understand that you can survive with out him. if this works you will either with him happily or if you still feel its no use then you can move out with kids becoz now your self sufficient. but be strong. life just give you tough time. you have to fight with it and make your way. all the best

aditip · Feb 22, 2014

Hi ramyavadi,
No, I'm not working i'm dependent on him past 18yrs. he told me to leave job and i did that in India for the sake of marriage. I'm in deep depression because whatever is going on in home.I want to leave him i know he doesn't care about me anymore. I'm scared to do that. I'm crying all the time thoughts of suicide come in my mind My dr. told me to live for my son.here I can't survive on my own.My husband knows it. I will have to start from lowest level job. Ican't leave son on him because of previous abused I still i can't believe my husband.

aditip · Feb 22, 2014

Hi Mommie007,
i spoke to lawyers about it and they are says nc law is once i leave country he can get
one sided divorce in his favour.I want to go back to india i got a family there who can
help me.I don't want to live in us anymore.But my therpist is saying if you want money for your kid than u need to be living here abt 1 year separatly than file for divorce.Than i might get some money. otherwise just get notariszed a letter from him that he is giving permission to me to take our kid to india .