How many of you accepts acting is vital part for peaceful married life?

Good topic, OP.

Here's my two cents.
IMO, especially with the other half we need to be a little more considerate. Especially since familiarity breeds contempt and all that. It doesn't mean we need to act like we don't get those negative feelings. We need to express our anger / disappointment / whatever in a mature and caring (?!?!?!) way.

1. Choose your battles. Eg. You are really annoyed your DH never takes his teacup to he sink. This needn't turn into a huge fight even if it continues for years. Either decide to hide your irritation or simply say in a pleasant tome, "could you drop your cup in the sink please?" Again and again and again. The amount of annoyance I used to feel has drastically reduced. If I really need a whinge about any of these metaphorical cups, I do it with my best friend and get it out of my system. DH will never know how close I was to bashing my heavy bottomed frying pan on his head for not having picked his cup if his own accord. Good for him!

2. Feeling an emotion doesn't mean you let it take you over. When I'm really angry with DH, I say exactly that in what i like to think as my dangerously calm voice. "I'm really angry with what you just did. I'm going to calm down first before we can talk about it." Take a day or two, decide on my speech to him and then discuss. This has proven more effective than any yelling match we've had.

3. Never whinge about his family to him. He isn't directly responsible. Even the worst in his mum is made up by his lovely siblings and dad. Plus if I'm really upset, I just ask him to give me a big hug and be done with it - without making him defend his family.

these techniques took a lot of practice but have really served me well. I am not sure if this is what is acting but I'm damned sure this is why god gave us an intellect...

 

Don't act in marriage life. Speak on face. This is what I am doing, and I learned it is correct when I watched Neeya Naana two weeks before, the topic was "Feminism".
A lady talked about how acting spoils Feminism and your originality, many ladies become slaves just by hearing a nice word from hubby, just because of that they life long serve the husband and they will sacrifice their life for them.
If a husband shouts at them, criticize them what they do, you will not keep quite always, one day you will argue, you will show your right.
I do that way at my home, I tell my wife if anything not good, we argue, it happens, marriage life is like, but when I praise her, then she knows that is true. She will never doubt that.

 

Some situations need acting but -afterwards ,always reveal the true feelings to our life partner otherwise the behaviour will never change and we will have to suffer all through our life.

 

First of all, in a relationship where we don't have any space to express our views/feelings and can not speak our heart out, and need to pretend, then the relationship is dead for sure. But even if its dead, at times, we won't be in a situation to just move out of it, maybe for kids or for financial or emotional support(here I am not talking about emotional support from in-laws or husband, but here i am talking from emotional support from other counters, which doesn't at times comes around when we might need it). In such situation, all we can do is to make ourselves so strong that, no one(not even hubby) can effect our peace of mind. If someone doesn't gives you the respect or your worth, then just ignore what they are doing and what they are saying. Be sincere in what you are doing for them(do only when you are at peace with doing it) and you need not feel bad for what they say or do. Don't take it to your heart, just find other ways and space to be happy with your self. You don't need someone to make you happy and that too those people who don't even care for you. Find and get your happiness yourself, maybe play with your child, listen to music(with head phones on ;-) ) or setup weekly meetings with your old friends. Something that you can look up to at the end of the week(with all these troubled people), somewhere you can unwind and get charged to face those people for another week, untill you are ready to get out of such pathetic relationship.I liked what Guesshoo suggested. we can give it a try!!And don't worry, you are not alone in this world with such kind of screwed up life. Me too going through the same. All the best to you, and i hope you get all the strength and peace of mind you need to face this situation.Take care.

 

True ES. But do our spouses feel that much intimacy as we feel? Just a small doubt. The response for the thread itself shows how much importance we give to our spouse but as I read in a book - " Husbands are life for women and wives are part of life for men. " I donno how many of you agree with it but from what I have seen (not only in my case but my friends, relatives etc) this saying holds the truth.
And when it comes to ACTING, I too don't believe in polished talking with DH but recently I came to know that at some instances we have to be the other person to make things happen. While the PILs and SILs know it and take advantage of it, why shouldn't we ? Why, even my DD praises my saree if she wants to watch TV for some more time. When these little children are having so much brains why should we stick to policies ?:cool2:

 

Here you have specifically asked whether acting helps in married life. Had this question being more general I would have said yes, at times it helps. We all act sometime or the other in front of "others".

But when it is about your married life and DH, then I don't think acting helps. This is so because you can put up a mask when you are with your colleagues/neighbours/relatives/friends etc. But within the four walls of our home, which is the most comfortable place for all of us on this earth, we can't feign and put up a mask. By acting you can never find peace within yourself.

A healthy relationship b/t a wife and husband is only possible when both of them are in their real selves, understand each other flaws and also respects the way the other person is.