Problem with PIL's Habits

Geetu, even my sis stays in a joint fly. Even she had to face the same pblm which u r facing. But after a period of time she kept 2 servants and till date she hardly has to do anything.

 

Hi

My MiL is in a different platform and a cleaning freak. I like my home to be neat and expect to keep things in its place back after use.... or every thing has a place.

But I like a home to be a home, we cannot expect every time everything to be neat and tidy like a 5 star hotel, then its not called home. My MiL will never remove her slippers at home even inside the kitchen. She removes only when she goes to the bathroom. She will look at under the feet if we keep the legs on the centre table due to knee pain if its dirty or clean. Though I myself a cleanliness supporter, anything in excess I hate.

Sometimes I am tired of keeping everything in its place, dust all the places despite maid doing them. So I would suggest just to adapt your way of life and slowly make them understand, but not by force or obsessiveness.
Take it easy......

Keep your bed room as per your liking......

Best Regards
Shanti

 

Nowadays, don't care much about it... even if i clean (struggle) for 4 to 5 hrs & keep it clean, the very next hour, it'll be very messy...:thumbsdown:bang... so left it as such... once in 3 months, i clean it...

what else to do? :bonk

 

I have a reversed problem, they are way too organized that they keep finding faults in my way. I appreciate what they do but i do not have time to do what they do.

There are two saying...

10 mins spent organizing, 10 hrs saved later.
If you lived in clean house, you aint' lived life.

So what would you go about then? I think we need to have balanced approach.

Try doing a little bit, main things which matters for you the most, rest let it go.
Also, in your post you have said you keep doing it and they mess it up again but in general they are very sweet to you.So have you tried telling them about this nicely? like "mom can we keep medical paper here only after using them? so it is easy to find afterwards? That would help me when i am trying to sum up the expense" Just throwing in one example. They may listen and may slowly change on those aspect.

 

It's sad that a woman has to change her habits (even the good ones) to match her Ils' just because she happens to a be a dil and just because she is married to an only son. Unfortunate and unfair.

Geetu, probably you will find solace when I tell you that my mil does all that too and it is not even her house(I mention this as some posters have suggested that since it's there house, they can do whatever they like), and unlike you I don't have any outside help at all. I myself have to clean up after her all day, everyday and what is worse is many time she does it on purpose to annoy me. ( I have heard her telling someone)

A good solution for you would be to have a full time helper or like someone suggested a maid to come twice a day and clean and tidy the whole house.

 

hi..in my case also the situation is similar....
my home.. where I stay with in-laws.. is soooo messy... none of the things are kepy neat. kitchen is even more dirty... sometimes don't feel like eating or drinking anything from there.. but cant help..:-(
and staying with them from past 4 months (married 5 months back).. feel so embarrassed when any guests visit home..
initially i thought they are old (in their last 60's), so cannot do.. but they don't even maintain what is kept, do not show any interest.. show the attitude of 'she is just wasting time on this'. :hide:
the biggest shock i recieved was, one day i heard them saying.. 'we don't give importance to all this as we are.. "Simple living, high thinking" kind of ppl..' :bang
i was brought up in place where my mother always kept clean and neat; and same i learnt.. sometimes feel like crying lokking at mess..
So... i just keep our bed room, living room and kitchen (when i do the cooking) clean.. all else i don bother..