Set of rules Mother in law/daughter in law/daughter (sister in law)

When DD's ILs threaten with suicide, they are wicked and should not be taken seriously. When Il's threaten with suicide, they are serious, poor poor depressed people who are truly sad and need to be helped by DS and Dil.:drowning

 

-DDs have solo right in deciding what they want in married life afterall they are modern and educated................. even if DILs are much more educated and placed in job, they have to follow lifestyle of MIL ie old style starting from clothes, obeying to H, not asking abt money, not talking back.....

-very particular case, DD will not prepare chapati if her MIL-FIL (both above 70yrs) visit as she will have to prepare 4chapti extra, so more work for her..tough for her............................... DIL will have to prepare crispy parantha at low flame, when 2sil & family and other relatives visit afterall DIL lived in north she have to show her mastered receipe.

-DD's kids are DS-DIL kids, DIL's sis kids are not even related to DIL.

-DD can live in nuclear family leaving 70years above IL struggle.....DIL will have to live with 52yr old MIL n 60yr old FIL coz they are getting old and cant sweep, clean and cook and dont want to keep maid. so DIL is maid.

 

hahaha... i think these rules are universal..applicable to 99% of dil/mil world over. I remember my own MIL fretting and fuming when my sis-in-law's MIL decided to move in with them for few months. How will my poor daughter cope with her Monster-in-law... my daughters life is ruined ... her husband is a mama's boy...will not support my poor daughter etc etc...and here i was stuck with her 24/7...slogging without a break from her criticisms and the height was she told me that i was lucky to have such an understanding mil unlike her own daughter

 

MIL should have every property,flats, only in her name but DIL can't want to have even a simple bank A/c in her name.:drowning

 

Just to support all these statements I want to relate an incident. I as travelling in a bus and happened to hear the conversation of 2 old ladies. I didnt eavesdrop but they were loud enough and most of us were listening to them. One lady said that her DD's hubby is really nice helps in chores like cooking, washing, cleaning. Buys dress every month brings her DD to home thrice in a month and bough house in her name. When the other one inquired about her DIL she answered that her son is slave to her as he helps he ron Sundays as the DIl works in a bank. also the son had taken the DIl to movie twice in 7 months what a hypocrite she is OMG. No wonder we DILs keep complaining.

 

:rotflWhat an irony in our lives !:thumbsup

 

very well said shilpa dear ....most of the things i got to hear such stuff

 

ur mil is really intelligent kirthi garu

 

Another one to the queue... ;-)

WHen MIL come back home from anywhere..even though DIL handled house and all whole day...MIL is tired to do anything ..and in vice versa case..MIL is tired handling house whole days so DIL should now do the rest...in my case inclusive of cleaning the little though mess all around house n in the kitchen done throughout the day by MIL
When back from office...son is poor...so tired..ohh my baby..DIL was out whole day and should take over house n kid for rest of the day..should get water for herself and DH too herself.
Working at home...son gets tired in 2-3 hrs and can sleep...DIL taking a break..means kitchen time...
When DIL is working in kitchen..she can handle alone..MIL in kitchen..be it once in whole day..DIL should come and assist..and later clean most of the times....
MIL doing housechores should be as per her mood....not a duty...

But all in all..I feel guilty each time I mention such things..bcos somewhere within I really rspect her..she's my beloved DH's mum and each mum is the best mum to her children !! She respects my family a lot....although doesnt really like their lifestyle n all but never shows her indifference or anything..its just that I know about her thoughts from here and there Yes, she is quite partial towards her own son n daughter and compares me at times..MY kids can never be wrong attitude..bcos I have brought them up....I do get irked many a times by her behaviour but still I count her as a help to me..be it heartedly from her side or not. I am happy2be in this family

 

Lovers I'd mentioned all that when I was at peak of frustrations with the lady.
After a stage ppl accept each other the way they're and seems thats falling into place with some welcome change around me.

Sometimes I feel that if we cry for not getting a perfect lady around.. neither were her expectations fulfilled.. just that they're at the higher level in hierarchy so they express their frustrations in real life and we on forums.
When I visited them, they were nice with me, took care and cooperative, stopped herself wherever she felt she was midway of speaking any derogatory things to me and had few praises. Also she was almost same for her daughter.

Really not sure the difference but time and distance does heal a lot of things, maybe they're getting old.. maybe there's been too many deaths and divorces around her in last few months.. or maybe she's attained enlightenment ... temporary or permanent.. time shall tell.

I don't go back on what I've already mentioned.. its just that I felt the change worth mentioning and appreciating of her efforts.