Funny situation with husband and MIL

apaasn · Jan 26, 2012

I have a strange situation during which I dont know what to do,I have a very annoying,unbearable,many many negative qualities MIL.I truly believe that there is no human on this earth who can spend a day with her without getting depressed or frustated!!I have encountered innumerable such times with her,I have screamed,I have given the silent treatment I have done everything that normal DILs would have done.I have thought and researched on the best way to handle these situations and annoying things she does which I will be posting in another thread.

But in this post I wish to discuss another problem,since my MIL is unbearable to live with naturally people around her fight with her ( I am the top 1 ) but there are times,once a month that she and my husband fights I think thats when she knows that I am not going to react to her she focuses on my husband.Those fights are terrible both scream at the top of their voice,I cannot control my happiness (I am a sadist) that my husband is actually standing upto her! I usually dont know what to say to him during those times,I want to say "see now you can imagine how I feel with your mother" "Sometimes I feel like patching them up (I am a good person)" Usually I just shut up and leave him alone but I love my husband and I cannot see him so sad and frustated,me just being there is not enough,its time I say something that will cheer him up but at the same time I want him to understand how I feel when she annoys me.I need help,what exactly do I say that will make him love me more.

He is always advising me to spend more time with his mother,do what she says,dress whatever way she likes,he hates me when I say a bad word against her,Its been hard getting through to him and very rarely I get opportunities when he fights and I dont want to let these go without using it to my benefit.

riyagan · Jan 26, 2012

say nothing... becos, he is not going to remember and apply the situation "mom vs me" to "mom vs my wife" while she is fighting with you and neither gonna come forward to support u . if u say him kind words and support him just after his fight with mom he will think tht u r trying to use the situation to separate his dear mommy from him. thats what i think..

Anamika99 · Jan 26, 2012

When he is frustrated and sad and all, when u guys are alone consol him, say that you completely understand how he feels , becuse many many time repeatedly u also feel the same with her (your mIL) give an example...(keep your tone loving as if just mentioning and not complaining) add that you also have hard time but what can we do, she is part of family , everybody has bad side and good as well, me, her, you alll....so it is ok to stand up to her when needed, but no need to feel sad...and that way you are praising her and saying how u feel too good luck

Soumedh · Jan 26, 2012

Be neutral

vini31 · Jan 26, 2012

apaasn said: ↑

very rarely I get opportunities when he fights and I dont want to let these go without using it to my benefit.
Click to expand...

:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl that was a good one

Dont say a word stay neutral ... I'd suggest that when they fight keep mum ...coz if u tell any thing they wud team up it wud become mom n son Vs u

azalea · Jan 26, 2012

My advice: Don't be in the picture when mother and son are fighting, etc.. It is best to stay out of the scene altogether. They will be enemies one instant, and the best of friends, the other. So be careful, so that your words are not held against you in future.

lavii · Jan 26, 2012

My personal expierience ..When i tried controlling situation it became a worst situation where i became the victim...
Learning :Never did that again..if i have any feedback for my dh started giving seperately ..and ya first thing i do is engage myself in someother work rather than concentrating on what they are doing which gives MIL some peace atleast ..