i am all alone!

First things first...

4 yrs of married life and this is how he was behaving so you cannot turn him into a new leaf over night.
You got to be tough, to make him learn some things around.
Remember if he doesnt learn now, you may end up living with this person forever.....i.e no chance of he changing.


Next ...steps to start...

Be tough
yes stop crying and getting worried for every little thing he says.
Next time he starts bullying you or talking crap , just look straight at him and say ITS NOT FUNNY. Mind your words. and walk away.
Give him the babyw hen he comes back from work and say you got to have bath. go to bath room and be there for atleast half hour. doesnt matter what you are doing or how many times he screams.
It is his baby too and sometimes out of over affection on kids, some mothers like you tend to take on entire responsibility and even husbands take that to their advantage...i.e be free birds and act as if women are the ones who has to bear the children and nurture and take care of them and men will just earn money thats all.

first start with these and see how it goes.

Remember everytime he talks crap, dont avoid or dont cry. STand firm and say mind your words. I am not a kid and I know how to handle things. If you talk crap next time I wont take it. PERIOD.

Also...please do something for yourself. i.e invest some personal time in hobbies or learn a new skill or start some home based business or do something tat will make you feel lively and active....dress well....make yourself more appealing...when you feel confident, others will take a step backward to make comments.

You are never alone in this world...todays its your hubby who is bullying you...what if tomorrow your kids also do this to you??? so better start early and put people in their place.....everyone deserves love n respect and you too deserve these!!! beleive that and demand that!

 

Dear sminu, lots of hugs to you. You are not the only one, i am in a same boat as well. i DO HAVE ANGER RELATED PROBLEMS AND peple take advange of it.Forget everyone and look after yourself. I do not have any support from anyone but have faith in yourself, people who are ignoring you today will come after you tomorrow.

When You Are In The Light, Everything
Follows You,
But When You Enter Into The Dark, Even Your Own Shadow Doesn't Follow You."



just have confidence in yourself.

 

Just ignore your h.the more you give attention to him and the more you consider him he is going to drive you f you feel what you are doing is right-like browsing/listening to music just go ahead and do it.next time he says something about baby,be calm and attend to your child and do not react to him.

 

You know you have anger issues and we can change ourselves not others so why don't you start there? Go to the library or used book store and get some books on anger management and start reading. Try to improve this aspect of your character...it will give you some initial relief. Then start objectively appraising your husband and whether he is a person that you can ever have a successful marriage with. If he is not, then start planning your exit of the marriage. There are times in life when things get so heavy on us that we feel that we are going underwater. It is these times that you just have to scrape up the will from deep within yourself to pull yourself out of your mess and go forward. This is that time for you.

 

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Dear Sminu,

You are not alone.

*** Be, proud , that you are a woman, not a man )
We, woman have the special ability to conceive and give birth to children.
No man can do that.

*** You already have a good education , which is your strength to find work.

*** Since , you already have seen the negative side of a man, you will be more careful in future.


when he calls you names, tell him , " give respect and take respect" , and walk out of the room. I raised two kids, with out any help from my hubby or and relatives. He is a great dad, but he was very busy during our kids early years.

As the old saying goes, "it takes a village to raise a child". Yet, I have some suggestions , to work out on your marriage.

1. Take shower , during the baby's nap time. ( I used to do that)
2. You could eat and still talk to the baby.
( come on , u r in U.S., people multitask, haven't you seen people eat as they drive.)
3. Stop crying,over come your self pity.

4. show him, that you are strong, could do things with out his help.
5. when u r hubby call u names, remind his manners.don't talk to him , do not share bed until he apologies.
6. If he still treats you like crap, then its time to walk out. ( divorce should be the last option)
7. You will have to leave the baby to him, as you don't make money now to support baby.
8. Once you are on your own, you go back to ( if you are on dependent visa) India.

9. since , you are educated, ( as you know English & can type ) , you could find a decent job
in India.Stay in working women's hostel , work hard toward to earn higher studies & reach a high stage.
10. Then you could visit your baby and even consider to find your soul mate .


Do not burn bridges, get divorce in a decent way. so, you would not have trouble time contacting him
to see your baby in future.

Be strong, husband is not the whole world.There are thousands of ladies who live happily with out
a male companion.

look at Mother Theresa , Oprah , Tamilnadu CM Jaya Lalitha, bengal CM Mamatha Benerjee, UP Lion Mayavati ,
etc ladies who live \ lived with their own rules &dignity.

Good Luck.