A good friend of mine helped me realize how my DH has been supportive of me all these years. I surfed and surfed the internet to find a solution, until I stumbled across this term “emotionally distant husband”. My DH was fitting the bill. I was taken aback by the characteristics.
I spoke to my DH about it, how I feel about his behavior. That how much its hurting me to live a life like this, when we can live in a far far better way. It was like turning a key in his mind lock. He opened up by pouring all his thoughts and how my actions were hurting him. We both were at fault. We cant clap with one hand.
The more I was complaining to him, more he was running away from me. The more I wanted to take my stand, more he wasn’t.
I realized he had loved me for the person I was, simple and adjusting. He could see what his family is up to, and he could see how I was putting up with them. I always used to tell him to let go which only increased my respect in his eyes. He had always taken my stand whether in front of me or behind me. he had never tried to let ILs interfere in our day to day life apart from occasional slip ups.. I can tolerate that, isnt it? It is his family, right.. His Mom, His Siblings. That much discount I can give him.
Then when I was fighting back with him and his family, he was drifting from me.
He was unable to take the change I was undergoing. But was it worth, definitely no.
I realized my happiness lies only with him. If I let my ego take over my marriage, I’ll b doomed. How many times do we tell our husbands that we love them for the man that they r, we RESPECT them and their decisions. That they r wonderful husbands and wonderful fathers. We don’t do any of this then we crib they don’t show any affection on us.
Now my ILs have taken a back seat in my life, I can concentrate on my family now. Life is much better. Yes, sometimes I am thrown off guard. I do have my share of testing times. I get angry, depressed. I fight the battle in my own way. But though all this, I never let my DH responsible for his family actions. I genuinely appreciate all his love and support.
Every one will have their own set of problems till they die. GOD gives only half glass of waterto everyone, for someone glass might be big or for some it might be small. Only its how we see, its half full, or half empty.. I prefer to see half full.
