I am a working mom of a 7 month old baby boy. I have joined back to work when my LO was 3 month old. These days I am completely buried in guilt. How much ever I try to get out of it, I am again getting back to guilt.
I leave my LO with my parents who are just a street away from my place. I am happy that I have not left him with strangers. But at the same time, I feel so guilty for leaving him. Its getting hard for me to concentrate on work at office. Even after coming to office, I am continuously thinking about my son. I am falling behind in my schedules as well.
Added to this, whenever we have to go out on some work or to chill out, my husband asks me to leave the LO at my mom’s place as it might be difficult for us to handle him and even the LO is not at peace outside home. And my guilt comes back and takes over me. I feel that I am the worst mom ever for leaving my kid and enjoying. I had decided not to go out without the LO unless and absolutely necessary. but due to some obligations from friends, family, some times we have to. Each day I am falling for the guilt. There has been no day I haven’t cried. Many people feel that I am running behind money leaving the kid. To me, my job is very important. I never want to depend on any one financially. I haven’t asked my dad for a penny right from my childhood. No way I depend on my husband! so me quitting a job is next to impossible.
I am very disturbed by all this. I feel like I am drowning. Desperately need some help
Please help me get out of this!
And the answer from Smitha!
What you are going through is I guess something all working moms go through. Atleast you are leaving your baby in the loving hands of your own parents (not even ILs) which is such a big blessing in itself. I too am a working mom whose DD (now nearly 2) is taken care of by my MIL. I too have had occasions where I have left DD with MIL when DH and I go out for some work.
I would say on weekends, be with your baby as much as possible. We working parents have tons of stuff to do on the weekends, and not all places are appropriate for young children. So there is no harm not taking the baby along to such places. But, as much as possible, take him with you otherwise. In this way you will be satisfied that you can be with him for maximum time in the weekends. Husbands tend to want to leave the baby behind, because it’s just more convenient. But its our mommy hearts that pine for them. So whenever you want to take the baby reassure your hubby that you’ll be able to manage the baby and this is the only time you both get to spend with him so you should maximize it, even if it means a little inconvenience.
Don’t fret, girl. We all do the best we can, so don’t punish yourself about it. At the end of the day if a certain arrangement isn’t working for you, do what you can to fix it. Feeling of guilt doesn’t help a thing.